{"product_id":"2940012757241","title":"FORE!","description":"CONTENTS\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGENTLEMEN, YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLITTLE POISON IVY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTHE MAJOR, D.O.S.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA MIXED FOURSOME\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"SIMILIA SIMILIBUS CURANTUR\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA CURE FOR LUMBAGO\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTHE MAN WHO QUIT\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTHE OOLEY-COW\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eADOLPHUS AND THE ROUGH DIAMOND\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGENTLEMEN, YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     There has been considerable argument about it--even a mention\u003cbr\u003e     of ethics--though where ethics figures in this case is more\u003cbr\u003e     than I know. I'd like to take a flat-footed stance as claiming\u003cbr\u003e     that the end justified the means. Saint George killed the\u003cbr\u003e     Dragon, and Hercules mopped up the Augean stables, but little\u003cbr\u003e     Wally Wallace--one hundred and forty-two pounds in his summer\u003cbr\u003e     underwear--did a bigger job and a better job when the betting\u003cbr\u003e     was odds-on-and-write-your-own-ticket that it couldn't be done.\u003cbr\u003e     I wouldn't mind heading a subscription to present him with a\u003cbr\u003e     gold medal about the size of a soup plate, inscribed as\u003cbr\u003e     follows, to wit and viz.:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     _W. W. Wallace--He Put the Fore in Foursome._\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEvery golfer who ever conceded himself a two-foot putt because he was\u003cbr\u003eafraid he might miss it has sweated and suffered and blasphemed in the\u003cbr\u003ewake of a slow foursome. All the clubs that I have ever seen--and I've\u003cbr\u003etravelled a bit--are cursed with at least one of these Creeping\u003cbr\u003ePestilences which you observe mostly from the rear.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou're a golfer, of course, and you know the make-up of a slow foursome\u003cbr\u003eas well as I do: Four nice old gentlemen, prominent in business circles,\u003cbr\u003echurch members, who remember it even when they top a tee shot, pillars\u003cbr\u003eof society, rich enough to be carried over the course in palanquins, but\u003cbr\u003etoo proud to ride, too dignified to hurry, too meek to argue except\u003cbr\u003eamong themselves, and too infernally selfish to stand aside and let the\u003cbr\u003eyounger men go through. They take nine practice swings before hitting a\u003cbr\u003eshot, and then flub it disgracefully; they hold a prayer meeting on\u003cbr\u003eevery putting green and a _post-mortem_ on every tee, and a rheumatic\u003cbr\u003esnail could give them a flying start and beat them out in a fifty-yard\u003cbr\u003edash. Know 'em? What golfer doesn't?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut nobody knows why it is that the four slowest players in every club\u003cbr\u003ealways manage to hook up in a sort of permanent alliance. Nobody knows\u003cbr\u003ewhy they never stage their creeping contests on the off days when the\u003cbr\u003ecourse is clear. Nobody knows why they always pick the sunniest\u003cbr\u003eafternoons, when the locker room is full of young men dressing in a\u003cbr\u003ehurry. Nobody knows why they bolt their luncheons and scuttle out to the\u003cbr\u003efirst tee, nor where that speed goes as soon as they drive and start\u003cbr\u003edown the course. Nobody knows why they refuse to walk any faster than a\u003cbr\u003ebogged mooley cow. Nobody knows why they never look behind them. Nobody\u003cbr\u003eknows why they never hear any one yell \"Fore!\" Nobody knows why they are\u003cbr\u003eso dead set against letting any one through.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEverybody knows the fatal effect of standing too long over the ball, all\u003cbr\u003edressed up with nowhere to go. Everybody knows of the tee shots that are\u003cbr\u003eslopped and sliced and hooked; of the indecision caused by the long wait\u003cbr\u003ebefore playing the second; of the change of clubs when the first choice\u003cbr\u003ewas the correct one; of the inevitable penalty exacted by loss of temper\u003cbr\u003eand mental poise. Everybody knows that a slow foursome gives the\u003cbr\u003eRecording Angel a busy afternoon, and leaves a sulphurous haze over an\u003cbr\u003eentire course. But the aged reprobates who are responsible for all this\u003cbr\u003etrouble--do they care how much grief and rage and bitterness simmers in\u003cbr\u003etheir wake? You think they do? Think again. Golf and Business are the\u003cbr\u003eonly games they have ever had time to learn, and one set of rules does\u003cbr\u003efor both. The rest of the world may go hang! Golf is a serious matter\u003cbr\u003ewith these hoary offenders, and they manage to make it serious for\u003cbr\u003eeverybody behind them--the fast-walking, quick-swinging fellows who are\u003cbr\u003eout for a sweat and a good time and lose both because the slow foursome\u003cbr\u003eblocks the way.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, you recognise the thumb-nail sketch--it is the slow foursome which\u003cbr\u003einfests your course; the one which you find in front of you when you go\u003cbr\u003evisiting. You think that four men who are inconsiderate enough to ruin\u003cbr\u003eyour day's sport and ruffle your temper ought to be disciplined, called\u003cbr\u003eup on the carpet, taken in hand by the Greens Committee. You think they\u003cbr\u003eare the worst ever--but wait!","brand":"SAP","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47152570401008,"sku":"2940012757241","price":0.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940012757241_p0.jpg?v=1763572030","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940012757241","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}