{"product_id":"2940013145443","title":"MORE MISREPRESENTATIVE MEN","description":"_Contents_\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    AUTHOR'S FOREWORD\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    PUBLISHER'S PREFACE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    ROBERT BURNS\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    WILLIAM WALDORF ASTOR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    HENRY VIII\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    ALTON B. PARKER\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    EUCLID\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    J. M. BARRIE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    OMAR KHAYYAM\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    ANDREW CARNEGIE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    KING COPHETUA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    JOSEPH F. SMITH\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    SHERLOCK HOLMES\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    AFTWORD\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e_Authors Foreword_\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e(_To the Publisher_)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    When honest men are all in bed,\u003cbr\u003e        We poets at our desks are toiling,\u003cbr\u003e    To earn a modicum of bread,\u003cbr\u003e            And keep the pot a-boiling;\u003cbr\u003e    We weld together, bit by bit,\u003cbr\u003e    The fabric of our laboured wit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    We see with eyes of frank dismay\u003cbr\u003e      The coming of this Autumn season,\u003cbr\u003e    When bards are driven to display\u003cbr\u003e        Their feast of rhyme and reason;\u003cbr\u003e    With hectic brain and loosened collar,\u003cbr\u003e    We chase the too-elusive dollar.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    While Publishers, in search of grist,\u003cbr\u003e      Despise our masterly inaction,\u003cbr\u003e    And shake their faces in our fist,\u003cbr\u003e          Demanding satisfaction,\u003cbr\u003e    We view with vague or vacant mind\u003cbr\u003e    The grim agreements we have signed.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    For though a willing public gives\u003cbr\u003e      Its timely share of cash assistance,\u003cbr\u003e    The author (like the dentist) lives\u003cbr\u003e          A hand-to-mouth existence;\u003cbr\u003e    And Publishers, those modern Circes,\u003cbr\u003e    Make pig's-ear purses of his verses.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    Behold! How ill, how thin and pale,\u003cbr\u003e      The features of the furtive jester!\u003cbr\u003e    Compelled by contracts to curtail\u003cbr\u003e                His moments of siesta!\u003cbr\u003e    A true White Knight is he to-day\u003cbr\u003e    (_Nuit Blanche_, as Stevenson would say).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    Ah, surely he has laboured well,\u003cbr\u003e      Constructing this immortal sequel,--\u003cbr\u003e    A work which no one could excel,\u003cbr\u003e              And very few can equal,--\u003cbr\u003e    A volume which, I dare to say,\u003cbr\u003e    Is epoch-making, in its way.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    When other poets' work is not,\u003cbr\u003e      These verses shall retain their label;\u003cbr\u003e    When Herford is a thing forgot,\u003cbr\u003e              And Ade an ancient fable;\u003cbr\u003e    When Goops no longer give a sign\u003cbr\u003e    Of Burgess's empurpled kine.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    My Publishers, I love you so!\u003cbr\u003e      Your well-secreted virtues viewing;\u003cbr\u003e    Who never let your right hand know\u003cbr\u003e          Whom your left hand is doing;\u003cbr\u003e    Who hold me firmly in your grip,\u003cbr\u003e    And crack your cheque-book, like a whip!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    My Publishers, make no mistake,\u003cbr\u003e      You have in me an _avis rara_,\u003cbr\u003e    So write a princely cheque, and make\u003cbr\u003e              It payable to bearer;\u003cbr\u003e    I love you, as I said before,\u003cbr\u003e    But oh! I love your money more!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e_Publisher's Preface_\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e(_To the Author_)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    Voracious Author, gorged with gold,\u003cbr\u003e      Your grasping greed shall not avail!\u003cbr\u003e    In vain you venture to unfold\u003cbr\u003e              Your false prehensile tale!\u003cbr\u003e    I view in scorn (unmixed with awe)\u003cbr\u003e    The width of your capacious maw.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    On me the onus has to fall\u003cbr\u003e      Of your malevolent effusions;\u003cbr\u003e    'Tis I who bear the brunt of all\u003cbr\u003e            Your libellous allusions;\u003cbr\u003e    To bolster up your turgid verse,\u003cbr\u003e    I jeopardise my very purse!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    You do not hesitate to fleece\u003cbr\u003e      The Publisher you scorn to thank,\u003cbr\u003e    And when you manage to decrease\u003cbr\u003e              His balance at the bank,\u003cbr\u003e    Your face is lighted up with greed,\u003cbr\u003e    And you are lantern-jawed indeed!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    Yet will I still heap coals of fire,\u003cbr\u003e      Until your coiffure is imbedded,\u003cbr\u003e    And you at last, perchance, shall tire\u003cbr\u003e          Of growing so hot-headed,\u003cbr\u003e    And realise that being funny\u003cbr\u003e    Is not a mere affair of money.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    And so, in honour of your pow'rs,\u003cbr\u003e      A fragrant bouquet will I pick,\u003cbr\u003e    Of rare exotics, blossoms, flow'rs\u003cbr\u003e              Of speech and rhetoric;\u003cbr\u003e    I'll add a thistle, if I may,\u003cbr\u003e    And, round the whole, a wreath of bay.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    The blossoms for your button-hole,\u003cbr\u003e      To mark your affluent condition,\u003cbr\u003e    Exotics to inspire your soul\u003cbr\u003e              To further composition.\u003cbr\u003e    Come, set the bays upon your brow!\u003cbr\u003e       *       *       *       *       *\u003cbr\u003e    Well, eat the thistle, anyhow!","brand":"SAP","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47121064984816,"sku":"2940013145443","price":0.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940013145443_p0.jpg?v=1763577112","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940013145443","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}