{"product_id":"2940013329348","title":"Halloween Jokes for Adults - Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat , Top Ten Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex, 20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters, Halloween Definitions, THE THIRTEEN DAYS OF HALLOWEEN, Halloween Flashers, and more.","description":"SNEAK PEAK:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHalloween Party \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and away he went. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided to go to the party. Since her husband didn''t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she got to the party and spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHis wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars put the seats back and screwed each other senseless. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJust before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe was sitting up reading when he came home and asked what kind of a time he had. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe said, \"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you''re not there.\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThen she asked, \"Did you dance much?\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe replied, \"I''ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Don and Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I''ll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTop Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e            10. You get winded from knocking on the door. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e            9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e             8. You ask for high fiber candy only. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e            7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance \u003cbr\u003e            and fall over. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e            6. People say, \"What a scary mask!\" but you're not wearing a mask!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e             5. When the door opens you yell, \"Trick or...\" and can't remember \u003cbr\u003e            the rest. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e            4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining \u003cbr\u003e            orders. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e             3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your \u003cbr\u003e            hairpiece. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e            2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e             and last but not least...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTop Ten Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex: \u003cbr\u003e10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. \u003cbr\u003e9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. \u003cbr\u003e8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. \u003cbr\u003e7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy. \u003cbr\u003e6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else. \u003cbr\u003e5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months. \u003cbr\u003e4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky. \u003cbr\u003e3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning. \u003cbr\u003e2. Less guilt the next morning. \u003cbr\u003eand, the #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex... \u003cbr\u003e1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ehttp:\/\/www.theholidayspot.com\/halloween\/trick_or_treat.htm\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on \u003cbr\u003ethe door of a house and the man who answers it says, \"Well, you two are awful \u003cbr\u003ecute! Who are you supposed to be?\" \u003cbr\u003e\"We're Jack and Jill,\" she replied.\u003cbr\u003eThe man says, \"You can't be Jack and Jill - you're black!\"\u003cbr\u003eSo, they go off and a while later they come back dressed differently. They ring \u003cbr\u003ethe doorbell and once again the man opens the door. \"Well, now, that is just \u003cbr\u003edarn cute! Who are you this time?\"\u003cbr\u003e\"We're Hansel and Gretel,\" says the little boy.\u003cbr\u003e\"Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel because \u003cbr\u003eyou are black!\"\u003cbr\u003eHeads hung low, they leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell ring \u003cbr\u003eagain. This time when he opens the door there stands the two children but this \u003cbr\u003etime, they are buck-naked. \"Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?\" he \u003cbr\u003easked.\u003cbr\u003e\"We're M \u0026amp; M's,\" said the little girl. \"I'm plain. He's got nuts.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters\u003cbr\u003e        Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of \u003cbr\u003e        sand, etc.) \u003cbr\u003e        Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the \u003cbr\u003e        door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, \"Trick \u003cbr\u003e        or Treat!\" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. \u003cbr\u003e        \u003cbr\u003eTO BE CONTINUED... Buy now and get enjoy the contents in full!","brand":"S.H.W.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47170881356016,"sku":"2940013329348","price":2.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940013329348_p0.jpg?v=1763579937","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940013329348","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}