{"product_id":"2940013703254","title":"My Ten Years in a Quandary","description":"The day that Mr. MacGregor lost the locomotive was a confusing\u003cbr\u003eone for our accountants. They didn't know whom to charge it to.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"We have an account here called 'Alterations,'\" said the head\u003cbr\u003eaccountant (Mr. MacGregor). \"We might charge it to that. Losing a\u003cbr\u003elocomotive is certainly an alteration in something.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"I am afraid that you are whistling in the dark, Mr. MacGregor,\"\u003cbr\u003eI said quietly.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"The point is not what account we are going to charge the lost\u003cbr\u003elocomotive to,\" I continued. \"It is how you happened to lose it.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"I have already told you,\" he replied, with a touch of asperity,\u003cbr\u003e\"that I haven't the slightest idea. I was tired and nervous\u003cbr\u003eand--well--I lost it, that's all!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"As a matter of fact,\" he snapped, \"I am not at all sure that the\u003cbr\u003elocomotive is lost. And, if it is, I am not at all sure that I\u003cbr\u003elost it.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e                         *  *  *  *  *\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"I don't think that we need go into that point,\" I replied. \"When\u003cbr\u003ea man takes a locomotive out and comes back without it, and is\u003cbr\u003eunable to explain what has become of it, the presumption is that\u003cbr\u003ehe, personally, has lost it. How did you like those tangerines we\u003cbr\u003ehad for lunch?\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Only fair,\" MacGregor answered.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"You see?\" I said. \"You are getting cynical.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe have had a great deal of trouble about Mr. MacGregor's growing\u003cbr\u003ecynical. He looks at things with a bilious eye. It is bringing\u003cbr\u003edown the morale of the office force, and there are whole days at\u003cbr\u003ea time when we don't sell a thing.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e                         *  *  *  *  *\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"How often do you take that medicine I gave you?\" I asked him.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMacGregor winced slightly. \"Hot-diggidy!\" he replied.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"That is not an answer to my question,\" I said, sternly.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"What were we just talking about?\" he asked.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"You mean the tangerines?\" I said, his cynicism still rankling in\u003cbr\u003emy mind.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"No,\" he replied. \"Before that.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe both thought for a minute.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Well, it couldn't have been very important,\" I said, laughing.\u003cbr\u003eThis got him in good humor and we swung forward, double-time,\u003cbr\u003ealong the road to work.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Take the Witness!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNewspaper accounts of trial cross-examinations always bring out\u003cbr\u003ethe cleverest in me. They induce day dreams in which I am the\u003cbr\u003ewitness on the stand, and if you don't know some of my imaginary\u003cbr\u003ecomebacks to an imaginary cross-examiner (Doe vs. Benchley:\u003cbr\u003e482-U.S.-367-398), you have missed some of the most stimulating\u003cbr\u003ereading in the history of American jurisprudence.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThese little reveries usually take place shortly after I have\u003cbr\u003eread the transcript of a trial, while I am on a long taxi ride or\u003cbr\u003eseated at a desk with plenty of other work to to. I like them\u003cbr\u003ebest when I have work to to, as they deplete me mentally so that\u003cbr\u003eI am forced to go and lie down after a particularly sharp verbal\u003cbr\u003erally. The knowledge that I have completely floored my adversary,\u003cbr\u003eand the imaginary congratulations of my friends (also imaginary),\u003cbr\u003eseem more worth while than any amount of fiddling work done.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDuring these cross-questionings I am always very calm. Calm in a\u003cbr\u003enice way, that is--never cocky. However frantic my inquisitor may\u003cbr\u003ewax (and you should see his face at times--it's purple!), I just\u003cbr\u003esit there, burning him up with each answer, winning the\u003cbr\u003eadmiration of the courtroom, and, at times, even a smile from the\u003cbr\u003ejudge himself. At the end of my examination, the judge is crazy\u003cbr\u003eabout me.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJust what the trial is about, I never get quite clear in my mind.\u003cbr\u003eSometimes the subject changes in the middle of the questioning,\u003cbr\u003eto allow for the insertion of an especially good crack on my\u003cbr\u003epart. I don't think that I am ever actually the defendant,\u003cbr\u003ealthough I don't know why I should feel that I am immune from\u003cbr\u003etrial by a jury of my peers--if such exist.","brand":"WDS Publishing","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47073755693296,"sku":"2940013703254","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940013703254_p0.jpg?v=1763584157","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940013703254","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}