{"product_id":"2940013768765","title":"The Autobiography of Cockney Tom","description":"I, Cockney Tom, am the son of a gun, who was so called because his father\u003cbr\u003ewas a general in the Navy. Now this requires a little explanation. My\u003cbr\u003egrandfather, you must know, was master-at-arms on board the Royal\u003cbr\u003eStandard, 74 guns. It was his duty as a: warrant-officer to officiate\u003cbr\u003ewhen a man was to be flogged for getting drunk, or any other crime. They\u003cbr\u003ewere tied up to a grating and punished with the cat in those days. Thank\u003cbr\u003egoodness it is not so now in the British Navy. It was the duty of the\u003cbr\u003earmorer to attend the surgeon of the ship in full uniform, with drawn\u003cbr\u003esword, to see that the prisoner received his allowance. The armorer was\u003cbr\u003eto count the lashes, and the doctor's duty was to tell the boatswain\u003cbr\u003eto cast the man off when he saw he could bear no more. So this is\u003cbr\u003ehow the aforesaid son of a gun's grandfather was nicknamed the\u003cbr\u003eflogmaster-general. Gun was armorer's mate, fought in three engagements,\u003cbr\u003eand got his discharge without pension. His brother was not so fortunate.\u003cbr\u003eHe rose by merit to be a second lieutenant, and one day was ordered to\u003cbr\u003eman the boat and go on shore at Portsmouth with orders for the ship. When\u003cbr\u003ehe reached the stairs the men begged so hard to be allowed to go on shore\u003cbr\u003efor a short time to purchase some necessaries, that Gun's brother gave\u003cbr\u003ethem leave, on their engaging, on honor, to return soon. Imagine his\u003cbr\u003efeelings when he returned to find that all his men had deserted. In this\u003cbr\u003edilemma Gun's brother did not know what to do; to go on board he was\u003cbr\u003eashamed, and therefore he made up his mind to follow the example of the\u003cbr\u003emen and bolt. He did so, was caught, and was sent to Portsmouth gaol to\u003cbr\u003ebe identified by his brother officers. They came the next morning and\u003cbr\u003etook him on board, and placed him in irons. A court-martial was called;\u003cbr\u003ehe was reduced from lieutenant to common seaman, and then they sentenced\u003cbr\u003ehim to two dozen lashes, which he received on his birthday as a very\u003cbr\u003eunwelcome present. Gun obtained his discharge, went to London, and got\u003cbr\u003emarried, by which transaction he increased and multiplied the earth to\u003cbr\u003ethe extent of ten children, I being the wind-up of the lot, which\u003cbr\u003econsisted of nine boys and one girl.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow began some of the stirring and painful events of my wonderful life.\u003cbr\u003eMy mother died when I was only five months old, and my sister became my\u003cbr\u003eonly nurse. She used to carry me round the parish to mothers who had\u003cbr\u003ebabies, and beg a drop of milk from one and another, so that I had many\u003cbr\u003efoster-mothers. Now, it so happened that I had a rich aunt, and she made\u003cbr\u003ean offer to Old Gun that if he would give me up entirely to her care, she\u003cbr\u003ewould settle her property on me, as she had no children of her own, which\u003cbr\u003eoffer Old Gun readily accepted. The will was made and duly registered,\u003cbr\u003eand I was taken from Old Gun and placed under the care of a good nurse.\u003cbr\u003eOld Gun took to chink, and when drunk visited my nurse, and listened to\u003cbr\u003eher complaints against my aunt. He called and had words with her, which\u003cbr\u003eso disgusted the old lady that she sent for a lawyer and altered her\u003cbr\u003ewill, without leaving me a single penny. (So much for drink.) I remained\u003cbr\u003ewith this nurse about five years. About this time I was nearly burned to\u003cbr\u003edeath, my nurse having left me to mind the house. I got playing with the\u003cbr\u003efire until my pinafore caught alight, when I ran out into the street all\u003cbr\u003ein a blaze. Two working men, who happened to be passing, seized me and\u003cbr\u003ethrew me into a ditch close by. After that they took me to a doctor, and\u003cbr\u003eI was laid up in bed for twelve months. When Old Gun heard of it, he took\u003cbr\u003eme away from my nurse, and when he got me home he made use of me to fetch\u003cbr\u003ehis gin, while he was on the drink. I remember fetching Gun as many as\u003cbr\u003enineteen half quarterns of gin before dinner, and sometimes he would be\u003cbr\u003eon the fuddle for a fortnight. Gun having got into debt with a publican,\u003cbr\u003eto the extent of two pounds, he summoned him for the amount. As Gun\u003cbr\u003erefused to pay, the publican caused him to be sent to gaol for six weeks.\u003cbr\u003eI used to visit father Gun in prison, and take him coffee and sugar. Now,\u003cbr\u003ewhile Gun was in trouble I was also doomed to suffer. Gun's landlady\u003cbr\u003erefused to give me a night's lodging. I lived on the few coppers earned\u003cbr\u003eby running about the city and holding gentlemen's horses. At last, to get\u003cbr\u003erid of me the landlady took me to the workhouse, and left me there till\u003cbr\u003eGun came out of prison. When Gun did come out, it was only to have a\u003cbr\u003echange from gaol to workhouse. At last the end came, and Gun died a\u003cbr\u003epenitent sinner.","brand":"WDS Publishing","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47068920479984,"sku":"2940013768765","price":2.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940013768765_p0.jpg?v=1763590025","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940013768765","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}