{"product_id":"2940014479714","title":"The Best American Humorous Short Stories","description":"Our schoolmaster entered upon his second term with new courage and\u003cbr\u003einvigorated authority. Twice certified, who should dare doubt his\u003cbr\u003ecompetency? Even Joshua was civil, and lesser louts of course\u003cbr\u003eobsequious; though the girls took more liberties, for they feel even\u003cbr\u003eat that early age, that influence is stronger than strength.\u003cbr\u003eCould a young schoolmaster think of feruling a girl with her hair in\u003cbr\u003eringlets and a gold ring on her finger? Impossible--and the immunity\u003cbr\u003eextended to all the little sisters and cousins; and there were enough\u003cbr\u003elarge girls to protect all the feminine part of the school. With the\u003cbr\u003eboys Master Horner still had many a battle, and whether with a view to\u003cbr\u003ethis, or as an economical ruse, he never wore his coat in school,\u003cbr\u003esaying it was too warm. Perhaps it was an astute attention to the\u003cbr\u003eprejudices of his employers, who love no man that does not earn his\u003cbr\u003eliving by the sweat of his brow. The shirt-sleeves gave the idea of a\u003cbr\u003emanual-labor school in one sense at least. It was evident that the\u003cbr\u003emaster worked, and that afforded a probability that the scholars\u003cbr\u003eworked too.\u003cbr\u003eMaster Horner's success was most triumphant that winter. A year's\u003cbr\u003egrowth had improved his outward man exceedingly, filling out the limbs\u003cbr\u003eso that they did not remind you so forcibly of a young colt's, and\u003cbr\u003esupplying the cheeks with the flesh and blood so necessary where\u003cbr\u003emustaches were not worn. Experience had given him a degree of\u003cbr\u003econfidence, and confidence gave him power. In short, people said the\u003cbr\u003emaster had waked up; and so he had. He actually set about reading for\u003cbr\u003eimprovement; and although at the end of the term he could not quite\u003cbr\u003emake out from his historical studies which side Hannibal was on, yet\u003cbr\u003ethis is readily explained by the fact that he boarded round, and was\u003cbr\u003eobliged to read generally by firelight, surrounded by ungoverned\u003cbr\u003echildren.\u003cbr\u003eAfter this, Master Horner made his own bargain. When schooltime came\u003cbr\u003eround with the following autumn, and the teacher presented himself for\u003cbr\u003ea third examination, such a test was pronounced no longer necessary;\u003cbr\u003eand the district consented to engage him at the astounding rate of\u003cbr\u003esixteen dollars a month, with the understanding that he was to have a\u003cbr\u003efixed home, provided he was willing to allow a dollar a week for it.\u003cbr\u003eMaster Horner bethought him of the successive \"killing-times,\" and\u003cbr\u003econsequent doughnuts of the twenty families in which he had sojourned\u003cbr\u003ePage 35\u003cbr\u003eThe Best American Humorous Short Stories\u003cbr\u003ethe years before, and consented to the exaction.\u003cbr\u003eBehold our friend now as high as district teacher can ever hope to\u003cbr\u003ebe--his scholarship established, his home stationary and not\u003cbr\u003erevolving, and the good behavior of the community insured by the fact\u003cbr\u003ethat he, being of age, had now a farm to retire upon in case of any\u003cbr\u003edisgust.\u003cbr\u003eMaster Horner was at once the preëminent beau of the neighborhood,\u003cbr\u003espite of the prejudice against learning. He brushed his hair straight\u003cbr\u003eup in front, and wore a sky-blue ribbon for a guard to his silver\u003cbr\u003ewatch, and walked as if the tall heels of his blunt boots were\u003cbr\u003eegg-shells and not leather. Yet he was far from neglecting the duties\u003cbr\u003eof his place. He was beau only on Sundays and holidays; very\u003cbr\u003eschoolmaster the rest of the time.\u003cbr\u003eIt was at a \"spelling-school\" that Master Horner first met the\u003cbr\u003eeducated eyes of Miss Harriet Bangle, a young lady visiting the\u003cbr\u003eEngleharts in our neighborhood. She was from one of the towns in\u003cbr\u003eWestern New York, and had brought with her a variety of city airs and\u003cbr\u003egraces somewhat caricatured, set off with year-old French fashions\u003cbr\u003emuch travestied. Whether she had been sent out to the new country to\u003cbr\u003etry, somewhat late, a rustic chance for an establishment, or whether\u003cbr\u003eher company had been found rather trying at home, we cannot say. The\u003cbr\u003eview which she was at some pains to make understood was, that her\u003cbr\u003efriends had contrived this method of keeping her out of the way of a\u003cbr\u003edesperate lover whose addresses were not acceptable to them.\u003cbr\u003eIf it should seem surprising that so high-bred a visitor should be\u003cbr\u003esojourning in the wild woods, it must be remembered that more than one\u003cbr\u003ecelebrated Englishman and not a few distinguished Americans have\u003cbr\u003efarmer brothers in the western country, no whit less rustic in their\u003cbr\u003eexterior and manner of life than the plainest of their neighbors. When\u003cbr\u003ethese are visited by their refined kinsfolk, we of the woods catch\u003cbr\u003eglimpses of the gay world, or think we do.\u003cbr\u003eThat great medicine hath\u003cbr\u003eWith its tinct gilded--\u003cbr\u003emany a vulgarism to the satisfaction of wiser heads than ours.\u003cbr\u003eMiss Bangle's manner bespoke for her that high consideration which she\u003cbr\u003efelt to be her due. Yet she condescended to be amused by the rustics\u003cbr\u003eand their awkward attempts at gaiety and elegance; and, to...","brand":"All classic book warehouse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47070612881648,"sku":"2940014479714","price":0.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940014479714_p0.jpg?v=1763609812","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940014479714","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}