{"product_id":"2940032812845","title":"The Armpit of Evil","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Armpit of Evil, in list form:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSir Glorious' 'To Do' List of Chivalry:\u003cbr\u003e1: Defend the defenseless.\u003cbr\u003e2: Protect the protectless.\u003cbr\u003e3: Smith anything with spikes.\u003cbr\u003e4: Keep armor shiny.\u003cbr\u003e5: Rescue the princess and defeat evil Overlord and his immortal undead army. But do it before that other knight, other wise you might not get to marry the princess.\u003cbr\u003e6: Have lunch with Mom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSinistario's Reminders of Doom:\u003cbr\u003e1: Not everything must be decorated in skulls.\u003cbr\u003e2: Minions do not get hazard pay.\u003cbr\u003e3: Buy evil fortress insurance.\u003cbr\u003e4: Torturing innocents lasts a moment, but Oppressing Kingdoms lasts a lifetime.\u003cbr\u003e5: If you are bored, plot revenge.\u003cbr\u003e6: Trick that stupid knight into getting your magical amulet back for you (and then kill him)(a lot).\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Joe Mirabello","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47077004312816,"sku":"2940032812845","price":2.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940032812845_p0.jpg?v=1763642227","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940032812845","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}