{"product_id":"2940044780026","title":"Charles","description":"\u003cp\u003e'Hi.\u003cbr\u003e'Charles, calling Earth.\u003cbr\u003e'Sssscreeeewaheeee...'\u003cbr\u003e'I know you're out there ... come in please.\u003cbr\u003e'Vern! Vern! Do you hear me dude? Come back? Get back to me good buddy, Vern!\u003cbr\u003e'Fuck!'\u003cbr\u003e'Charles—stop with the swearing! Desist! Immediately young man!'\u003cbr\u003e'This walkie-talkie of Vern's is crap—it won't send send—it won't receive—it's dead!'\u003cbr\u003e'That's no excuse!\u003cbr\u003e'Get that homework done!'\u003cbr\u003e'Yes Mom...'\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy Vacation\u003cbr\u003eby Charles Hopkins Junior\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI endure a certain notoriety for the weird fact of having been born with a blue tongue. For the benefit of the uninformed I will give a brief recap before going to my main topic, which, is that of Spontaneous Human Combustion. Hereabouts, S H C has been the source of much interest and conjecture of late.\u003cbr\u003eUp on the road to Loon Lake there lived an old woman ... namely, a Mrs. Annie Crump. She lived alone and her death by fire was a mystery; that is ... until very recently.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"J. Elk-Baptisté","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47157310554352,"sku":"2940044780026","price":3.6,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940044780026_p0.jpg?v=1763667229","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940044780026","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}