{"product_id":"2940045712552","title":"Perk Noir","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do jazz, coffee, football and ninja girls have in common? Me, that’s who, Mason Ezekiel Barnes. I’m a retired NFL tackle turned author, a big-headed man (as in large, not proud) living in a world dominated by small-headed people. Pinhead insults wear thin, especially when they come from Conrad Bancroft, whose head isn’t much bigger than a light bulb. That twerpy little gnome thinks he can write better than me and he writes about buffalo for God’s sake. Which would you rather read, a treatise on furry four legged beasts or the saga of Mia Killjoy, my naughty Bond girl, taking on evil Dr. Cockadoodle? I know, it’s crazy. I don’t get the critics’ infatuation with him either, but I will beat him. I will win my Pulitzer someday and then I’ll watch the gnome weep.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chris Garson","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47179694211312,"sku":"2940045712552","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940045712552_p0.jpg?v=1763682364","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940045712552","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}