{"product_id":"2940046529968","title":"The Official Blonde Jokebook","description":"\u003cp\u003e“The man next to me is jacking off,” said the blonde to her girlfriend as they sat in the movie theater.\u003cbr\u003e“Ignore him.”\u003cbr\u003e“I can’t,” said the blonde. “He’s using my hand.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA blonde is registering to vote. The clerk asks, “When’s your birthday?”\u003cbr\u003e“June fifth.”\u003cbr\u003e“What year?”\u003cbr\u003e“Every year.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow do we know that God isn’t a blonde?\u003cbr\u003eIf she were, sperm would taste like chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat are Vanna White’s favorite consonants?\u003cbr\u003eNorth and South America.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do you call two blondes standing on either side of a friend with a broken leg?\u003cbr\u003eSupport hos.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA blond walking down the street was attacked by two muggers. They roughed him up a little, took his watch and wallet and told him that he better not go to the cops. He said, “You don’t have to worry about that. I have another watch and wallet; I thought you were after the $6,000 I keep in my shoe.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA young recently married blonde bride visited the OB\/GYN and said, “Doctor, we’ve been trying to have a baby, but we just can’t get pregnant. I don’t know what’s wrong.”\u003cbr\u003e“Take off your underpants and lie down on that table.”\u003cbr\u003e“I’d love to doctor, but I’d rather have my husband’s baby.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA man is so frustrated with his blonde girlfriend that he falls to his knees and says, “Lord?”\u003cbr\u003eA voice booms, “YES, MY SON?”\u003cbr\u003e“I don’t understand these blondes. Why did you make them so beautiful and beguiling?”\u003cbr\u003e“SO THAT YOU WOULD LOVE THEM, MY SON.”\u003cbr\u003e“But why did you make them a perfect shape that’s so incredible to hold?”\u003cbr\u003e“SO THAT YOU WOULD LOVE THEM, MY SON.”\u003cbr\u003e“Yes, but why did you make them so fucking stupid?”\u003cbr\u003e“SO THAT THEY WOULD LOVE YOU, MY SON.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBlonde Doris said to her sister, “I have to be extremely careful not to get pregnant.”\u003cbr\u003e“But I thought Bill got a vasectomy?”\u003cbr\u003e“Precisely.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat’s the best thing to do when you see your blonde wife staggering around on your front lawn?\u003cbr\u003eShoot her again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow can you tell the blonde on the nude beach?\u003cbr\u003eShe’s the one with a tampon string hanging out of her ass.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do you call a blonde working at the post office?\u003cbr\u003eOverqualified.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat’s the white stuff you find in the bottom of a blonde’s underwear?\u003cbr\u003eClitty litter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you hear about the blonde carpool?\u003cbr\u003eThey meet at work.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do a fat blonde chick and a moped have in common?\u003cbr\u003eThey’re both fun to ride, but you never want your friends to see you on one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe teacher asked the blonde sitting in the front row, “Can you tell me what 32, 21, and 102 are?”\u003cbr\u003e“That would be Sports Center, Nick at Night, and Turner Classic Movies.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe hated fishing, but the blonde nurse loved going down on the doc.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you hear about the blonde housekeeper?\u003cbr\u003eEvery time she got divorced she kept the house.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy’d the blonde lawyer fail the bar exam?\u003cbr\u003eShe thought an anti-trust suit was a chastity belt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy couldn’t the blonde terrorist blow up the bus?\u003cbr\u003eShe kept burning her lips on the tailpipe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy was the blonde snorting Equal?\u003cbr\u003eShe thought it was diet coke.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe bartender said to the blonde as he poured her Cabernet, “Say when.”\u003cbr\u003eShe said, “Right after this drink.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do blondes call underwear?\u003cbr\u003eAnkle warmers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* * *\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Mother?” asked the new bride, “how can I make my new husband happy?”\u003cbr\u003e“Love,” said the mother, “can be a beautiful bond between two people who respect each others' needs...”\u003cbr\u003e\"I know how to fuck, mom,” said the girl. “I want you to teach me how to make meatloaf.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMany many more blonde jokes inside...\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Rob Loughran","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47176147697904,"sku":"2940046529968","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940046529968_p0.jpg?v=1763694555","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940046529968","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}