{"product_id":"2940148162872","title":"The Military Adventures of Johnny Newcome (Illustrated)","description":"On Ludgate Hill, a traveller may see\u003cbr\u003eJohn Newcome, Grocer, No. Fifty-three;\u003cbr\u003eNow, sober reader, don’t turn up your nose,\u003cbr\u003eBut profit by the truths I shall disclose.\u003cbr\u003eThe Newcome family, you may believe,\u003cbr\u003eStraitways descended from good Madam Eve;\u003cbr\u003eAdam, a Newcome, when in Paradise,\u003cbr\u003eThe wily serpent did Dame Eve entice\u003cbr\u003eTo touch forbidden fruit; and to his shame,\u003cbr\u003ePoor Adam Newcome slily did the same:\u003cbr\u003e[2]\u003cbr\u003eFor this, from Paradise they soon were hurl’d,\u003cbr\u003eAnd thus Cain Newcome came into the World.\u003cbr\u003e’Twould be an endless job were I to trace\u003cbr\u003eAll the descendants of the Newcome race:\u003cbr\u003eLet it suffice that I curtail my rhymes,\u003cbr\u003eTo scenes connected with the present Times.\u003cbr\u003eWidely extended is the Newcome Name,\u003cbr\u003eSome scoff’d for Folly, some renown’d for Fame;\u003cbr\u003eDid we in Foreign Courts but look askance,\u003cbr\u003eWe find they’ve play’d the very Devil in France.\u003cbr\u003eEach in his turn assum’d the Sovereign Sway,\u003cbr\u003e’Till Boney Newcome drove them all away;\u003cbr\u003eMighty in deeds, his Mighty power evinces,\u003cbr\u003e[3]\u003cbr\u003eAnd makes his tribes of Newcomes Kings and Princes.\u003cbr\u003eLouis to Holland went with State Regalia,\u003cbr\u003eAnd silly Jerome king’d it at Westphalia:\u003cbr\u003ePoor foolish Joe went slily into Spain,\u003cbr\u003eBut Paddy Newcome whipt him out again.\u003cbr\u003eAh! Honey, that’s a Newcome, if you please,\u003cbr\u003eMakes Boney tremble in his Thuilleries.\u003cbr\u003eHis fame—but, let me onward with my story,\u003cbr\u003eMy humble rhymes would only mock his Glory.\u003cbr\u003eIn London Newcomes every where are seen,\u003cbr\u003eNewcome’s a Lord, a General, Knight or Dean—\u003cbr\u003eNewcomes, where’er you go, you’re sure to meet,\u003cbr\u003eThe Park, the Playhouse, or St. James’s Street.\u003cbr\u003e[4]\u003cbr\u003eAmongst our Quality, you’ll find a few,\u003cbr\u003eAnd Carlton House has got its Newcome too.\u003cbr\u003eAt both the Universities you find ’em,\u003cbr\u003eBut in such numbers that they never mind ’em.\u003cbr\u003eIn all Professions, Lawyers, Fiddlers, Bards,\u003cbr\u003eLots in the Line, and many in the Guards.\u003cbr\u003eThis leads me to the subject of my story,\u003cbr\u003eTho’ first I thought it right to lay before ye,\u003cbr\u003eBy way of preface, or of introduction,\u003cbr\u003eOr, if you please, a smattering of instruction;\u003cbr\u003eGo as you will, no matter when, or where,\u003cbr\u003eYou’re sure to see a Johnny Newcome there.\u003cbr\u003eNow this same Grocer was a man of weight,\u003cbr\u003eEat turtle soup, and talked of Church and State,—\u003cbr\u003e[5]\u003cbr\u003eFor twenty years had bustled well through life,\u003cbr\u003eBlest with one son by Doll his loving Wife:\u003cbr\u003eThe Youth, a lankey, awkward, shuffling Blade,\u003cbr\u003eBred by the old ones to pursue the Trade,\u003cbr\u003eSchool’d by Mamma, who thought all learning stuff,\u003cbr\u003e‘Young John will have the Cash, and that’s enough.’\u003cbr\u003eBy Martial ardour fired, John scorn’d to stop\u003cbr\u003eAnd retail sugar in his father’s Shop!\u003cbr\u003eIn spite of Daddy’s wrath, and Mother’s tears,\u003cbr\u003eStrutted an Ensign in the Volunteers;\u003cbr\u003eBut the good souls were quickly reconcil’d\u003cbr\u003eIn admiration of their darling Child.\u003cbr\u003eOld Johnny seem’d afraid he’d be too rash,\u003cbr\u003e[6]\u003cbr\u003eBut Mother doated on the Sword, and Sash.\u003cbr\u003eSoon Johnny grew ambitious of renown,\u003cbr\u003eAnd sigh’d to flourish in some Country Town;\u003cbr\u003eIn some Militia Corps, at distant Quarters,\u003cbr\u003eAct the Lothario with the Wives and Daughters.\u003cbr\u003eMoney, or Interest, never-failing friends,\u003cbr\u003eSoon did the job, and Johnny gain’d his ends.\u003cbr\u003eTranslated then to a Militia Beau,\u003cbr\u003eDear, lively Captain Newcome’s all the go!\u003cbr\u003eSports a gay Curricle and pair of Tits,\u003cbr\u003eDamns smokey London, and the frowsy Cits;\u003cbr\u003eWith ardour talks of Marches, Camps, and Fight;\u003cbr\u003eSuch scenes as these would be his soul’s delight.\u003cbr\u003e[7]\u003cbr\u003eAt length, one day, his spirits flush’d with Wine,\u003cbr\u003eJohnny resolved to go into the Line;\u003cbr\u003eWrites to Mamma a coaxer to Petition\u003cbr\u003eShe’d make his Father buy him a Commission.\u003cbr\u003eThe doating Mother dwells with anxious pause,\u003cbr\u003eEre she could send her darling to the Wars.\u003cbr\u003eBut as she’d ne’er refused him what he wanted,\u003cbr\u003eShe paid the Cash, and his request was granted:\u003cbr\u003eSoon now the Official letter made it known\u003cbr\u003eThat Ensign Newcome, Fourth or the King’s Own,\u003cbr\u003eWould on receipt immediately go,\u003cbr\u003eAnd quick present himself at the Depôt.\u003cbr\u003eWhat thrilling tumults in his bosom came\u003cbr\u003eTo see amongst the Regulars his name!\u003cbr\u003e[8]\u003cbr\u003eSo dash’d away in wondrous haste and pother,\u003cbr\u003eTo take a flying leave of Dad and Mother.\u003cbr\u003eA soldier bold, now Johnny vaunts and vapours,\u003cbr\u003eAnticipates his name in London papers.\u003cbr\u003e‘From admiration we cannot refrain,\u003cbr\u003e‘The gallant Ensign Newcome’s going to Spain;\u003cbr\u003e‘To shew our gratitude we don’t dissemble,\u003cbr\u003e‘Heroes like him must make","brand":"Lost Leaf Publications","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47075255353584,"sku":"2940148162872","price":0.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940148162872_p0.jpg?v=1763697998","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940148162872","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}