{"product_id":"2940148274186","title":"Torn From the Inside Out","description":"Literary Narrative Memoir\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn 1987, Sara Niles was forced to flee for her life with five small children, during a cold February thunderstorm.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDescriptive Tags: memoir, domestic violence, abuse, escape, children, trauma, drama, suspense, informational, inspirational\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eExcerpt from 'The Beginning'\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe room was small, and the courtroom-grey walls created a slight echo, or perhaps it was just my imagination. I had to go so far back into my mind that the present environment closed in on me. Of the five people in the room Kathryn Shipp was the most imposing: she was 6 feet tall, stood military straight with sharply cropped blue-black hair, and blue eyes that were intense. She needed everything from me, she had to have the ‘feel’ of the whole story, not just the facts, so she demanded more than just a story, and she wanted a recreation of my life. Kathy Shipp was one of the best attorneys in the state and her client was a domestic abuse victim who had snapped and killed her abuser, so Kathy Shipp needed me to show her why a good little girl could empty a gun on a man with his back turned. I knew why she did it, I knew what she felt, and if it took revealing my soul to help, I would. So I went back to the images of my beginnings and the people and events that shaped my life to make me who I am. There were many forces that forged me, some gentle and kind, and some harsh and violent; there were also many people who contributed to the final product that I call 'me'.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn the process of my evolution, I became a victim of domestic war, an emotional casualty for a major portion of my life, entwined, entrapped and emotionally involved, until I learned how to become free. Freedom has never been easily gained and has often come at high cost throughout history, but one thing I will always know is freedom is worth every fight, and all pain. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn every life there is a timeless and unforgettable minute or day that will be forever etched into our mind’s memory. I have unforgettable memories that are so vivid that I see them in Technicolor, and I hear them with surround sound. Long after I am dead, I believe, I will remember. Two of those memories were the days of my escape to freedom…twice.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eExcerpt from Chapter One:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Thunder rattled the window- panes two stories high, and lightning split the sky, it was as if the whole world was in turmoil that night. My nerves were keyed up as tight as piano strings, and in a sudden moment of stillness and silence, it felt as though my heartbeat was amplified ten times over. He was over a hundred pounds greater than I, and nearly a foot taller than I, and I knew he could move his muscled body into unbelievable sprints. Rain started falling in torrents as the storm raged outside. I was not afraid of the storms of nature; it was the storm inside this night that I knew I might not survive”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFebruary 13th, 1987, the night of Sara Niles’ disappeared with her five small children. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTable of Contents\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePart I Living on the 'Flower Bed of Eden'\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChapter 1 The Garden of Eden\u003cbr\u003eChapter 2 Golden Memories\u003cbr\u003eChapter 3 The Age of Innocence\u003cbr\u003eChapter 4 Upheaval\u003cbr\u003eChapter 5 The Suitor\u003cbr\u003eChapter 6 The Wedding\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePart II Descent Into the Abyss of Hell\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChapter 7 Storm Brewing\u003cbr\u003eChapter 8 Foreboding\u003cbr\u003eChapter 9 Into the Lair\u003cbr\u003eChapter 10 Bonding\u003cbr\u003eChapter 11 Shattered Dreams\u003cbr\u003eChapter 12 Meanderings of a Lost Mind\u003cbr\u003eChapter 13 Into the Fire\u003cbr\u003eChapter 14 Gain and Loss\u003cbr\u003eChapter 15 Baby Thomas\u003cbr\u003eChapter 16 Evolution\u003cbr\u003eChapter 17 Touchstones\u003cbr\u003eChapter 18 Para Normal\u003cbr\u003eChapter 19 Paranoia\u003cbr\u003eChapter 20 Yellow Roses\u003cbr\u003eChapter 21 Enter Ariel\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePart III The Butterfly Borrows Eagle Wings\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChapter 22 Building Resentment\u003cbr\u003eChapter 23 The Fight\u003cbr\u003eChapter 24 The Gambler\u003cbr\u003eChapter 25 Full Fledged Chaos\u003cbr\u003eChapter 26 Post Trauma Distress\u003cbr\u003eChapter 27 The Breaking Point\u003cbr\u003eChapter 28 The Milestone\u003cbr\u003eChapter 29 The Power Struggle\u003cbr\u003eChapter 30 The Awakening\u003cbr\u003eChapter 31 The Cold War\u003cbr\u003eChapter 32 Imminent Danger\u003cbr\u003eChapter 33 Retrospection\u003cbr\u003eChapter 34 The Crucible\u003cbr\u003eChapter 35 The Flight\u003cbr\u003eChapter 36 Reconnoiter\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eQuoted Sections:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“The mind will protect itself automatically, with or without the owner’s permission or knowledge, so I used a fresh new coat of denial, of ‘not thinking about it so it won’t bother me’  to protect myself. In order to justify denial, I had to fight against the impulse to be logical, and find a replacement to use as a decoy. Rationalization was a perfect anesthetic, as it eased the anxiety and lessened the desire to act. The only thing wrong with rationalizing was, deep down, I knew that I was lying to myself”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"...We must stop the pain that tears deep into the soul, ripping it inside out","brand":"Impact","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47157703573744,"sku":"2940148274186","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940148274186_p0.jpg?v=1763700420","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940148274186","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}