{"product_id":"2940150544611","title":"Sasha","description":"When it comes to relationships, I have really bad luck. Each time I meet a guy, I cross my fingers and hope he is at least halfway normal. I'm so tired of dealing with crybabies and freak shows that I could just scream. At this point, I'm so close to just joining a convent, taking the vow of chastity, and calling it quits with men entirely. Well, I probably don't need to go to that extreme... I mean who am I kidding? There's no way I could be a nun. But becoming an old crotchety lady with 20 cats lurking around? Now THAT is a definite possibility. That is until I see him, my brown-eyed stallion man, swooping in to save me from an unforeseen wrinkly old balls attack, and then... he is gone. Well, not gone completely, because I can't stop fantasizing about him.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI fantasize about him so much that when I finally do see him again, I make a complete and total ass of myself. Several times in fact. How I do not drop dead of embarrassment right then and there is beyond me. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSo, remember I said I have really bad luck? Well, sit back, grab a glass of wine or your favorite mixed drink, and let me tell you how it all started, and how it all ends...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e~  I was starting to mentally prepare my desperate appeal to the judge, in an attempt to get out of the imaginary charges, when a quick movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. A hot stallion of a man was running toward us yelling, \"Grandpa, what the hell are you doing?\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e~  \"So are we going to talk about the fact that your jeans have ripped apart like a hooker's legs on a Friday night?\" he asks and starts laughing\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e~ Renaming my past boyfriends has always been a favorite pastime of ours. Why not give them a more fitting name, because who really needs to remember the guy's real name? You want a name to remind you why it didn't work, so at three in the morning on a drunken, horny night you don't call him. Thinking you made a mistake. In this case, The Huffer left no room for regret.","brand":"Rae Matthews","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47073369719024,"sku":"2940150544611","price":0.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940150544611_p0.jpg?v=1763755970","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940150544611","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}