{"product_id":"2940158735387","title":"What Would Cthulhu Do? - a Dear Cthulhu collection","description":"Cthulhu will one day rise up\u003cbr\u003eto claim the Earth and its inhabitants as his own.\u003cbr\u003eThe Great Old One has looked\u003cbr\u003eupon Humankind and found it lacking.\u003cbr\u003eCthulhu has deemed it necessary\u003cbr\u003eto prepare Humankind for his coming\u003cbr\u003eThus, Cthulhu now answers humanity's questions\u003cbr\u003eto help them better themselves.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd now when you are in doubt as to what to do in life, you can ask yourself the most important question-\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWHAT WOULD CTHULHU DO?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn the latest Dear Cthulhu collection, the Great Old One answers letters and gives more good advice to bad people, tackling topics ranging from after-death love affairs, men who think they are dogs, women who believe they are witches, adoption, relationships, kitten eating snowmen, how long children should keep teddy bears, the place of rocket launchers in polite society, and how to deal with the dread beaver pox.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHere' a sample of Dear Cthulhu's wisdom-\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDear Cthulhu,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     My wife and I recently have been getting into trouble with our neighbors and local authorities because of our decisions on how we raise our children. We've decided to go back to a better and simpler time and raise our offspring as free range children, just like in the good old days.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     Apparently, some of our busy-body neighbors object to this and have been having the police hound us because our children walk to school on their own through our safe suburban neighborhood. They tell us it's unsafe, yet there hasn't been a violent crime reported here in years and there\u003cbr\u003ehas never been a child abduction reported in our town ever.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     Do you think we're doing the right thing raising our children free range?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     – Free Rangers In Fredonia\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDear Free Rangers,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     Cthulhu is with you one hundred percent. I actually admire what you are doing. In today's environment, children are herded in and out of schools and fed all sorts of artificial additives which really taint their taste. The idea that you are raising free range children is amazing to Cthulhu. Thank you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     Children are so much tastier when they are free range – I simply cannot tell you how wonderful this is. And the lack of violent crime helps assure they survive long enough to make it to market. I'm not sure what age you are planning to sell them off for food, but Cthulhu would like to put an order in now.","brand":"Padwolf Publishing Inc.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47075630743792,"sku":"2940158735387","price":2.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/2940158735387_p0.jpg?v=1764118910","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/2940158735387","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}