{"product_id":"9780399160400","title":"Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In \u003ci\u003eZeus Grants Stupid Wishes,\u003c\/i\u003e Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDid you know?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCronus liked to eat babies.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNarcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOdin got construction discounts with bestiality.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIsis had bad taste in jewelry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGanesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Penguin Publishing Group","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47020949209328,"sku":"9780399160400","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9780399160400_p0.jpg?v=1763698448","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9780399160400","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}