{"product_id":"9780692376515","title":"Unintentionally Celibate","description":"Kinky, pornstar-style sex. In every room and every position. Sex advice for the inept, the knowledgeable, and the sexiest sex-ers having sex.\u003cp\u003eIf that's what you're looking for...this is probably not the book for you. Because I'm currently in the middle of the world's greatest stretch of unintentional celibacy. If you want a sexy book like Fifty Shades of Grey, this is not it. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI haven't had sex in two years, six months, three days and 2.5 hours. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDuring this time, I've learned two facts:\u003cbr\u003eFact one: Granny panties never lead to coitus. \u003cbr\u003eFact two: Using the word coitus never leads to coitus.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy comedic tragedy started when I was twelve and looked exactly like the female version of George Costanza from Seinfeld. My life was full of shenanigans after that. This humor book is a collection of those tales, ramblings, and adventures. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut mostly it's about all of the fabulous sex I'm not having.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dream Maiden Publishing","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47017823568112,"sku":"9780692376515","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9780692376515_p0.jpg?v=1763618585","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9780692376515","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}