{"product_id":"9780692587850","title":"Heartbreak, Mourning, Loss. Volume 2: The Brain in Love","description":"Heartbreak is a triple loss\u003cp\u003eAt first, the physical absence of the partner seems like the only cause of our suffering and one is under the illusion that if he or she would only come back, all would be fine again. It is truly an illusion because there are three absentees in the drama of heartbreak. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe first is the beloved, and even if that person were to come back, the second, the person you were with the beloved, and the third, the person you were for the beloved, are never coming back. This triple loss explains the loss of a sense of identity. \u003cbr\u003eIndividuals suffering heartbreak have nightmares of losing their nametag, passport, car keys, of being lost in a strange city, of walking in a cemetery and reading their name on a funeral monument, of having no voice, no head, no body, of coming to work and somebody else's name is on the door of their office, or coming home and their mother asks them to introduce themselves... all are metaphors of an estrangement from the self. \u003cbr\u003eThe only solution is to become somebody else. \u003cbr\u003ePhilosophers have argued that our identity is a psychosocial construct, a compromise between what our parents want, what society wants, and what we think we want. Since identity is a construct, it follows that is can be deconstructed. The myth of the divine rights of kings is a perfect example of a deconstructionist attack on a value that was no longer sustainable. \u003cbr\u003eHeartbreak is a similar demolition derby of an obsolete identity. The lover, a mirror who used to reflect a positive image of yourself, now reflects nothing, or if it does, it is a tarnished, ugly picture that communicates, \"sorry, but you are no longer adequate.\" The identity built to attract and relate to the partner is a dead cable connector. Heartbreak is such a rough deconstruction that it is felt at first like a death of the self. There is a word for that feeling: alienation, which means a separation from oneself. \u003cbr\u003eThis book helps you answer the following question: \"if I cannot be who I was, who can I become?\" Invent, discover, imagine, try, and become that new person. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTable of Content\u003cbr\u003eCHAPTER 1 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBYPASS YOUR SYNAPTIC BUNDLE OF FEAR \u003cbr\u003eThe three actors in your drama \u003cbr\u003eYour crocodile psychology: grab, grip, hit \u003cbr\u003eThere you are my crocodile!\u003cbr\u003eYour puppy psychology: beg, whine, wait. \u003cbr\u003eYour regression to a preverbal vulnerability \u003cbr\u003eAttachment theories\u003cbr\u003eThere you are my puppy! \u003cbr\u003eThe wolf separated from the pack the broken heart syndrome \u003cbr\u003eThe art of consoling\u003cbr\u003eNeuromania and Darwinitis \u003cbr\u003eIs it in my genes, my brain or my soul?\u003cbr\u003eBecoming a wise human\u003cbr\u003eThe inner and the outer\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCHAPTER 2 \u003cbr\u003eNEUROSCIENCE AND THE UNCONSCIOUS\u003cbr\u003eMy life in a copter\u003cbr\u003eThe end of the behaviorist dominance \u003cbr\u003eYou can't repair the past \u003cbr\u003eThe slave complex \u003cbr\u003eNo ego, no Self, no identity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCHAPTER 3\u003cbr\u003eWHAT YOU MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU\u003cbr\u003eI am a champion procrastinator \u003cbr\u003eI am dependent but won't admit it\u003cbr\u003eI feel inadequate but cover it with uppityness\u003cbr\u003eUnload some projections \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCHAPTER 4 \u003cbr\u003eAH! JEALOUSY\u003cbr\u003eRivalry can be a factor of evolution\u003cbr\u003eYou don't own the partner\u003cbr\u003eBeware of psychic inflation\u003cbr\u003eThere is a way around jealousy\u003cbr\u003eIs it envy or jealousy?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCHAPTER 5\u003cbr\u003eRELATIONSHIP ADDICTION\u003cbr\u003eThe realm of the invisible \u003cbr\u003eHeartbreak is a triple loss\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCHAPTER 6\u003cbr\u003eNARCISSISM: A TREND AND A CURSE\u003cbr\u003eThe rage of a baby\u003cbr\u003eLearn to smell a narcissist\u003cbr\u003eThe narcissist as a self-loathing individual\u003cbr\u003eThe narcissist as a self-adoring individual\u003cbr\u003eThe trophy partner: narcissism by another name\u003cbr\u003eMonica, the figid beauty queen \u003cbr\u003eThe cashmere label\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"World Books Collective","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49784880857328,"sku":"9780692587850","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9780692587850","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}