{"product_id":"9780760352199","title":"The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGet the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose.\u003ci\u003e The Toddler Survival Guide\u003c\/i\u003e is here to get you to the other side. Toddlers and zombies\u003c\/b\u003e both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and—upon entering your life—leave you frazzled, on edge, and \u003cb\u003edeeply sleep deprived\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Toddler Survival Guide \u003c\/i\u003eis a hilarious\u003cb\u003e parody of Max Brooks's \u003ci\u003eThe Zombie Survival Guide \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e(and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it \u003cb\u003eprovides practical advice\u003c\/b\u003e on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have \u003cb\u003estudied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat\u003c\/b\u003e, the book will cover survival skills including how you can \u003cb\u003eoutfit your home\u003c\/b\u003e to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can\u003cb\u003e subdue an angry toddler\u003c\/b\u003e (\"Elmo's Song,\" mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler—or you—bursting into tears.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChapters include: Preparing the Home for a \u003cb\u003eToddler Invasion\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb\u003eCommunicating \u003c\/b\u003ewith Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, \u003cb\u003eGrooming \u003c\/b\u003eYour Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, \u003cb\u003eVacationing \u003c\/b\u003ewith a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and\u003cb\u003e Parental Self-Preservation\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Voyageur Press","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47025764827376,"sku":"9780760352199","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9780760352199_p0.jpg?v=1763655420","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9780760352199","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}