{"product_id":"9780771047541","title":"How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent","description":"\u003cp\u003eAre you tired of the earnest advice in conventional parenting books? Do you want to know what’s really in your future as a new parent? Scott Feschuk and Paul Mather both know, all too well, and are happy to tell you with their trademark irreverence what it’s really like to be a new parent. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor instance, they tell you that by nine months your baby will inevitably have missed several milestones, sending you into a complete panic. And sooner or later you’ll realize you’re doing everything wrong. The solution is simple: just read a different childcare advice book. Also, if your child has not knocked over something expensive and nice by the age of three, this could be a sign that you don’t have enough things that are expensive and nice. Did you know that a child’s affection for a song is directly proportional to how severely it annoys his mother and father? And, believe it or not, experts estimate that by 2024, the cost of a drunken frat party at a typical postsecondary institution will be $575,000. You owe it to your child to start saving now!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCandid and comic, \u003ci\u003eHow Not to Completely Suck\u003c\/i\u003e is a bundle of laughs for frazzled new parents and curious parents-to-be. The perfect gift for a shower or Mother’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"McClelland \u0026 Stewart Ltd.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47025892294896,"sku":"9780771047541","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9780771047541_p0.jpg?v=1763658095","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9780771047541","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}