{"product_id":"9780997214079","title":"Road to Bethlehem","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe captain asked, \"Why are there eight spacecraft approaching my castle with apparently evil intentions?\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow to sum up my crazy life in a few sentences?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOkay, here goes: \"Those are probably Mobster spacecraft looking to both kill me, since I have a list of their names and crimes on my contact lens, and to retrieve the time-travel arm bands that I just dumped in your trash scow. Sorry about dropping this mess in your lap, but they've already killed my girlfriend and kidnapped my family, and I know they absolutely will not stop, ever, until I am dead. So, I figured if I got the bands into the sun, at least I could die knowing I had done something good with my last great act of defiance.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI took a deep breath and waited for the tongue-lashing that I knew was coming...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"American National Paddleball League","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49820687630576,"sku":"9780997214079","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9780997214079","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}