{"product_id":"9781101619674","title":"Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology","description":"Get this:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCronus liked to eat babies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNarcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOdin got construction discounts with bestiality.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIsis had bad taste in jewelry.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGanesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAll our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In \u003ci\u003eZeus Grants Stupid Wishes,\u003c\/i\u003e Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSkeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.","brand":"Penguin Publishing Group","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47116458787056,"sku":"9781101619674","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781101619674_p0.jpg?v=1763688697","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781101619674","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}