{"product_id":"9781300724766","title":"J'APE: Just Another Publicity: How to Publish Your (Kindle) Book for Shameless Self-Promotion and Profit","description":"The Secret to Self-Publishing on Amazon is said to be: \"You Need to First Be A Celebrity To Succeed At Anything\".\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThis parody is a sarcastic look at how you can be an \"overnight\" success - by making it impossible for anyone else to succeed as you set the bar astronomically high. \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eLearn the 3 Parts to \u003ci\u003eReal\u003c\/i\u003e eBook Publishing\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow to write a book - real quick, shallow, ghost-written.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow to publish your book - hire someone to do it for cheap, like putting their name on the cover.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow to sell a book online - using your devoted, Kool-Aid-drinking fan-base to suck-up and give you fake 5-star reviews without having read the book.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eObviously, this is a work of satire and has nothing to do with the real world. And any resemblance to a currently successful bestseller is just a happy coincidence. (Right.)\u003c\/p\u003eSolve the Key Factors Which Have Kept You From Publishing Your Book.\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour life is out of Control because you didn't devote yourself to learning celebrity-skills.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want to get Approval for everything you do - but that's just the half of it. Find how celebrities can't live without it, so self-publishing puts \"Vanity\" back into the name.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want to have the Security, but really you need to stick to that day job and leave all the PR to PR Artistes who appear on late night info-mercials to sell over-priced junk.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnd you want to Join the group of successful Independent Authors, but except for a few cheaters who stumble into it by accident, the system is rigged to sell only celebrity's books (and cute dressed-up-cat-picture books).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003eTools you will find inside this guide:\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow to wreck your life and get fired for spending too much time on your book, then falling asleep at work - repeatedly.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow to ruin your family relationships by getting every relative you know to loan you money and\/or write suck-up reviews of your book (and like, and plus, and tweet about it to their friends.)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLose any certainty you ever had about how good you are as a writer, because some celebrity comes along with their version of how it \"really\" works, so no one listens to your advice ever again.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDiscover how a celebrity can suck the air out of a room by just showing up, and how their interviews and PR stunts take the limelight away from struggling unknown indie authors.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGet access to a \"Publishing Success Blueprint\" which will make sure you stick to your day job and never try some wacky creative idea ever again!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnd find how the entire publishing industry deck is still stacked against you, so you might as well never try.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ci\u003eNew Revision!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eContains actually helpful tips!\u003c\/i\u003e (Don't tell Richard this, but I included some tactics, strategies, and tips from later research. What you can find out, he doesn't need to know...)\u003c\/p\u003eDownload Your Copy\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eScroll Up Now and Click Buy Now Button.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"PublishDrive","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47136692764912,"sku":"9781300724766","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781300724766_p0.jpg?v=1763705903","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781300724766","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}