{"product_id":"9781402270796","title":"Notes to My Future Husband: A Bitch's Guide to Our Happily Ever After","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho is the Most Hilarious Bitch Around?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeet The Coquette, the insanely popular advice columist for \u003cem\u003eThe Daily\u003c\/em\u003e. Smirking but never cynical, she's a bad-ass with her own ideas about what it means to be a wife and what it takes to be a husband. \u003cem\u003eNotes to My Future Husband\u003c\/em\u003e is a modern woman's collection of tips on life, love, and everything in between. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBased on the blog named one of the \"funniest ever\" by the \u003cem\u003eNew York Observer\u003c\/em\u003e, this book is perfect for any seriously awesome bithch-or the man who loves her. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCold Cuts: If we have ham and you leave less than three slices in the package, you should just stab me in my sleep. What am I supposed to do with less than three pieces of ham? Dry my tears?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e•Obey: The word that will be conspicuously missing from our wedding vows.\u003cbr\u003e •I promise: to never comment on your bad breath, as long as you don't come near me with bad breath.\u003cbr\u003e •We're going to make a lot of parenting mistakes: Let's not make putting leashes on our children when we go to the mall one of them.\u003cbr\u003e •Your job: I know I'm the 'free spirited one', but you're not allowed to be doing something that makes you miserable. Sorry. We'll f***'in live in a box, it's fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sourcebooks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47029354332400,"sku":"9781402270796","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781402270796_p0.jpg?v=1763715481","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781402270796","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}