{"product_id":"9781429908252","title":"We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\"On the short drive to the preschool,\u003cbr\u003eI dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and\u003cbr\u003etoss it into the back seat to my four-year-old.\u003cbr\u003eSometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself.\u003cbr\u003eStudies have shown that it's very important\u003cbr\u003efor familes to eat together. . . . \"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat is the Southern woman's opinion of a new \"fat virus\" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWant to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling \u003ci\u003eBless Your Heart, Tramp\u003c\/i\u003e, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of \"Mama and them's,\" \"precious and dahlin,\" and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"St. Martin's Publishing Group","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47141692735728,"sku":"9781429908252","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781429908252_p0.jpg?v=1769901598","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781429908252","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}