{"product_id":"9781439199572","title":"Encyclopedia Paranoiaca","description":"\u003cb\u003eIGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL!\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eDid you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life?\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In \u003ci\u003eEncyclopedia Paranoiaca, \u003c\/i\u003emaster satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you—all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn’t.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy—eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands—are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous— drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans— pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you’re crossing your legs right now, you’re definitely at serious risk. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, \u003ci\u003eEncyclopedia Paranoiaca \u003c\/i\u003ebrings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e*** \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)\u003c\/b\u003e","brand":"Simon \u0026 Schuster","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47300827906288,"sku":"9781439199572","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781439199572_p0.jpg?v=1763786704","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781439199572","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}