{"product_id":"9781450081658","title":"The Chicago Way","description":"Traffic Tickets-What a Pain  \u003cbr\u003eEvery police officer is issued a traffic summons book when he is  \u003cbr\u003eassigned to a district. The supervisors have what we used to call a quota  \u003cbr\u003eon tickets issued. When an officer is assigned to the traffic division, he is  \u003cbr\u003eexpected to write at least eight moving violations a shift. But that is all he  \u003cbr\u003ehas to do; he doesn't handle any crime scenes or domestic disturbances  \u003cbr\u003eor whatever else comes along. On occasion, he has to handle a traffic  \u003cbr\u003eaccident, but that's about all. Don't get me wrong. I hated to write  \u003cbr\u003etickets, especially moving violations like red lights, speeding, or no left  \u003cbr\u003eturn. Parking tickets were also a pain in the ass; all they accomplish is  \u003cbr\u003ethat the poor soul that gets the ticket now hates you.  \u003cbr\u003eI guess that they are a necessity though, and maybe in some way  \u003cbr\u003ethey help keep drivers from getting too crazy behind the wheel of their  \u003cbr\u003ecar or truck. Personally, I would rather be out in the street locking up  \u003cbr\u003ebad guys and harassing gang bangers. Some of these traffic guys really  \u003cbr\u003elike working traffic, giving out their quota of summons, and putting a  \u003cbr\u003efew drunk drivers in jail before they kill somebody or themselves.  \u003cbr\u003ePeople that get stopped by the police for a traffic violation really  \u003cbr\u003ecome up with some original excuses. I remember an elderly lady that we  \u003cbr\u003estopped for driving the wrong way on a one-way street. This violation  \u003cbr\u003eis usually an open-and-shut case. When I asked her for her driver's  \u003cbr\u003elicense and explained why we had stopped her, she called me a liar  \u003cbr\u003eand asked why wasn't I out chasing down dope dealers or communists  \u003cbr\u003einstead of bothering a woman alone in a car trying to get home.  \u003cbr\u003e20 DON HERION  \u003cbr\u003eNo matter what I said to her, she had a look of hate in her eyes;  \u003cbr\u003eand if she had a gun, she would have shot me dead. When I began  \u003cbr\u003eopening the summons book to write her the ticket, she pulled an  \u003cbr\u003eacting job on me that was a beauty. The first thing she did was to roll  \u003cbr\u003eher eyes up in her head and then grab her heart like she was going to  \u003cbr\u003ehave a heart attack right there. Well, needless to say, she hit the right  \u003cbr\u003ebutton and her act worked. Even though I knew she was probably  \u003cbr\u003efaking it, I didn't want to take a chance of her dropping dead in front  \u003cbr\u003eof me. I asked her if she needed an ambulance or wanted to be taken  \u003cbr\u003eto the nearest hospital. She said that she only lived two blocks from  \u003cbr\u003ethere and that her heart pills were in her bathroom. She explained  \u003cbr\u003ethat if she got them, she was sure to be OK. Well, at this point, I was  \u003cbr\u003epretty aggravated and couldn't imagine myself giving this wacky broad  \u003cbr\u003emouth-to-mouth resuscitation if she was telling the truth. Of course,  \u003cbr\u003eI told her that we would be glad to drive her home if she couldn't  \u003cbr\u003edrive. She said no, that she felt better, and she thought that she could  \u003cbr\u003edrive home OK.  \u003cbr\u003eI said, \"OK, lady, under the circumstances, I won't give you a ticket  \u003cbr\u003ethis time but that you had better be more alert in the future.\" I just knew  \u003cbr\u003ethat I made this old broad's day when she thought she really bullshitted  \u003cbr\u003eme about the heart attack. To top it off, when she was driving away,  \u003cbr\u003eshe winked at me and said, \"Thanks, Officer, have a nice day.\"  \u003cbr\u003eThe best part of all is when I got back in the squad car, my partner  \u003cbr\u003eBob was just shaking his head and laughing. It seems that he had  \u003cbr\u003estopped this old witch in the past for doing the same thing and she  \u003cbr\u003epulled the heart attack routine on him too. He admitted that he didn't  \u003cbr\u003ewant to take a chance and have the old broad drop dead on him either  \u003cbr\u003eand gave her a pass. The thing that got him was when her eyes went  \u003cbr\u003eup in her head and all he could see was the whites of her eyes. Later  \u003cbr\u003eon, we talked to a few of the other guys that were working in that part  \u003cbr\u003eof the district, and they all had stopped her for doing the same thing,  \u003cbr\u003edriving the wrong way on a one-way street. They all witnessed her  \u003cbr\u003eheart attack routine, and none of them gave her a ticket. I thought,  \u003cbr\u003eyour day will come, you old bitty. Not only will I give her a ticket, but  \u003cbr\u003eI'll also tow her car.  \u003cbr\u003eI'm reminded of another traffic story that was really good. This  \u003cbr\u003eman and woman were traveling at a very high rate of speed north on  \u003cbr\u003eLake Shore Drive, about thirty miles per hour over the limit. It was  \u003cbr\u003efoggy out, and the street was very slick from a misty rain that had  \u003cbr\u003eTHE CHICAGO WAY 21  \u003cbr\u003ebeen falling. The purple Mercedes they were in was brand new, and  \u003cbr\u003ethe sales sticker was still on the window. The man was driving with  \u003cbr\u003eone hand on the wheel, but the other hand was waving around in the  \u003cbr\u003ecar and even turned into a fist on occasion. The female could also be  \u003cbr\u003eseen pointing a finger at the man. She even slapped the man on the  \u003cbr\u003eback of his head.  \u003cbr\u003eThese actions could be seen as their car was being pulled over to  \u003cbr\u003ethe side of the road. When the car stopped, the man driving the car  \u003cbr\u003eimmediately got out and rushed up to the officer getting out of the  \u003cbr\u003esquad car. The man had his hands in front of him, palm to palm. He  \u003cbr\u003epleaded with the officer to please arrest him and put the cuffs on him  \u003cbr\u003ebecause he knew that he was speeding and should be put in jail. The  \u003cbr\u003eman explained that his wife was driving him crazy and was upset  \u003cbr\u003ebecause he forbade her to smoke in their new car. It seemed that she  \u003cbr\u003ewas a chain-smoker and the car they just traded in smelled and had  \u003cbr\u003eburn holes all over the seat from her dropping ashes.  \u003cbr\u003eThe man kept pleading with the officer to arrest him so he could  \u003cbr\u003eget away from his bitchy wife for a few hours. At this point, the officer  \u003cbr\u003espoke to the wife and explained that her husband was very upset and  \u003cbr\u003ethat he might have to arrest him for speeding and tow the car as well.  \u003cbr\u003eThis information seemed to calm her down. She started copping a  \u003cbr\u003eplea about the way she had acted and swore that she would never  \u003cbr\u003etry to smoke in the car again. She asked if he would have mercy on  \u003cbr\u003eher husband.  \u003cbr\u003eThe officer then returned to the husband and told him that he was  \u003cbr\u003enot going to get a ticket, be arrested, or handcuffed. He would have to  \u003cbr\u003ego home with his wife and that would be punishment enough for one  \u003cbr\u003eday. The man then told the officer, \"This is not America anymore. I  \u003cbr\u003ecan't even get arrested for breaking the law.\" He said he was moving  \u003cbr\u003eto Australia as soon as he could.  \u003cbr\u003eIt's amazing to me how much people hate to get a traffic ticket;  \u003cbr\u003ethey would rather have you beat the hell out of them, I think. The  \u003cbr\u003eChicago Police Department had a bad reputation years ago. It was  \u003cbr\u003erumored that whenever you would get stopped by the police for a  \u003cbr\u003etraffic violation, you could pay off the cop and he would let you go. All  \u003cbr\u003eyou had to do was have some money clipped to your driver's license,  \u003cbr\u003eand when the cop asked to see your license, he would remove the  \u003cbr\u003emoney and give your license back to you with a warning to be more  \u003cbr\u003ecareful in the future. If that type of thing happened on occasion, I never  \u003cbr\u003e22 DON HERION  \u003cbr\u003ewitnessed it. There are probably some cops out there that would risk  \u003cbr\u003elosing their job and maybe even go to jail for a few bucks, but the old  \u003cbr\u003esaying is \"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.\"  \u003cbr\u003eOnce while working on street tracking and trailing some outfit guy,  \u003cbr\u003eI violated more traffic laws in one day than the average citizen did in  \u003cbr\u003ehis lifetime. Tailing a bad guy is an art all by itself. I had five undercover  \u003cbr\u003ecars with car-to-car radios all set up to follow this one juice guy who  \u003cbr\u003ewas going to meet his boss, Rocky Infelise. We set up on this goof at  \u003cbr\u003e5:00 am just to make sure that we wouldn't miss him. He left his house  \u003cbr\u003eabout 7:45 am and got in his car and just sat there for ten minutes,  \u003cbr\u003elooking up and down the street. Next, a woman in jogging clothes came  \u003cbr\u003eout of the house and began running down the street. In a few minutes,  \u003cbr\u003ethe same woman ran up to the juice guy's car and talked to him for a  \u003cbr\u003eminute. She proceeded to sit on her porch while the bad guy left. His  \u003cbr\u003ewife or girlfriend was watching for any cars that might start following  \u003cbr\u003ehim. If she spotted any squad cars in the area, she would call him on  \u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Xlibris Corporation","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47124124893424,"sku":"9781450081658","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781450081658_p0.jpg?v=1763832523","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781450081658","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}