{"product_id":"9781452339139","title":"Sorry, We Can't Use Funny","description":"Following the success of his first book, the 2009 sleeper, \"Why I Hate Straws,\" online humor columnist Barry Parham delivers again. Satire at its best! \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncludes the award-winning stories \"Actuarial Family Theater\" and \"Perfect!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eon Fads \u0026amp; Fashion...\u003cbr\u003eIn the interest of full disclosure, I admit there's an extant 1970's photo of me and a date, posing for the obligatory parental pre-prom photo. My date was gorgeous, and sane. I, on the other hand, showed up with the hair of a medieval barber. I looked like an electrocuted yak.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eon St. Valentine's Day...\u003cbr\u003eSomehow, February got this reputation as a month of romance, maybe because it's cold. Plus, football's gone and we're stuck with the wildly popular sport of bowling, where you almost never get to see any serious violence.\u003cbr\u003eSt. Valentine's Day contains vestiges of both early Christian and ancient Roman traditions, alongside other time-honored traditions, like hot-dish picnics and mass public executions.\u003cbr\u003eHoliday Factoid: \"vestiges\" is the classical Greek plural of \"vest.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eon Typos...\u003cbr\u003eA local TV station was updating the community on snowstorm-based church closings. According to the typists at the station, there was a church somewhere called St. Martyer.\u003cbr\u003eImagine - an entire religious sect dedicated to turning people into Ernest Borgnine.","brand":"Smashwords","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47128731779312,"sku":"9781452339139","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781452339139_p0.jpg?v=1763846256","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781452339139","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}