{"product_id":"9781475900491","title":"Hahrper \u0026 the Thing: A Funny Dirty Horror Novel","description":"Steven Isaac Hahrper has devoted his life to the absurdly romantic pursuit of women he barely knows. What Hahrper doesn't know, is that he is haunted by a terrible monster...an ancient Thing which feeds on Hahrper's senseless, fathomless lust.    When Hahrper tires of hollow affairs—and meets a woman with whom he could share true love—the Thing refuses to let Hahrper go. True love contains no nourishment for the Thing. And It will not lose Its fantastic meal-ticket Hahrper.  And, oh, what high jinks ensue...Terrifying visions. Devastatingly erotic visions. A full-length pornographic, yet moralistic Dr.Seuss-style story. Trips to fully-realized personal hells for Hahrper and all his friends. More naked women than even Hahrper could shake a stick at. And, of course, a climactic battle fought atop a fifteen hundred foot replica of Hahrper's own medium-sized pink penis.  All this pulse-pounding, boob-filled action is accompanied by such timeless Steve Hahrper-penned songs as:  \"Scrumdillyicious Poontang\", \"Magnet Face\", \"Why There Must Be Titty-bars In Heaven:\", \"On The Slopes Of Sarah\", and \"All Roads Lead To My Dick\"...to name a few.  A modern fable about the triumph of true love...and the boundless idiocy of the human male.","brand":"iUniverse, Incorporated","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47141658394864,"sku":"9781475900491","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781475900491_p0.jpg?v=1763606813","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781475900491","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}