{"product_id":"9781605012803","title":"Jokes For All Occasions","description":"\u003cp\u003eOver one thousand jokes collected and organized by topic by by Edward J. Clode and hyperlinked by MobileReference  for maximum loughter. Here are a few examples:\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003ch4\u003eAbsentmindedness\u003c\/h4\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThe man of the house finally took all the disabled umbrellas to the   repairer's. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the   street car, he absentmindedly laid hold of the umbrella belonging to a woman   beside him, for he was in the habit of carrying one. The woman cried \"Stop   thief!\" rescued her umbrella and covered the man with Shame and Confusion.    \u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThat same day, he stopped at the repairer's, and received all eight of his   umbrellas duly restored. As he entered a street car, with the unwrapped   umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold glaring at him the   lady of his morning adventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering   scorn:\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e\"Huh! Had a good day, didn't you!\"\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e*         *         *\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThe absentminded inventor perfected a parachute device. He was taken up in a   balloon to make a test of the apparatus. Arrived at a height of a thousand feet,   he climbed over the edge of the basket, and dropped out. He had fallen two   hundred yards when he remarked to himself, in a tone of deep regret:\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e\"Dear me! I've gone and forgotten my umbrella.\"\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e*         *         *\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThe professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned   home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at   him inquiringly:\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e\"Um—ah—is Professor Johnson at home?\" he asked, naming himself.\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e\"No, sir,\" the maid replied, \"but he is expected any moment now.\"\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThe professor turned away, the girl closed the door. Then the poor man sat   down on the steps to wait for himself.\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e*         *         *\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThe clergyman, absorbed in thinking out a sermon, rounded a turn in the path   and bumped into a cow. He swept off his hat with a flourish, exclaiming:\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e\"I beg your pardon, madam.\"\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThen he observed his error, and was greatly chagrined. Soon, however, again   engaged with thoughts of the sermon, he collided with a lady at another bend of   the path.\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e\"Get out of the way, you brute!\" he said.\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003e*         *         *\u003c\/p\u003e  \u003cp\u003eThe most absent-minded of clergymen was a Methodist minister who served   several churches each Sunday, riding from one to another on horseback. One   Sunday morning he went to the stable while still meditating on his sermon and   attempted to saddle the horse. After a long period of toil, he aroused to the   fact that he had put the saddle on himself, and had spent a full half hour in   vain efforts to climb on his own back.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MobileReference","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47170827288816,"sku":"9781605012803","price":0.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781605012803_p0.jpg?v=1763827198","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781605012803","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}