{"product_id":"9781621052197","title":"Not Safe For Kids","description":"\u003cp\u003eWARNING: THIS BOOK IS GUARANTEED TO EMOTIONALLY FUCK UP YOUR KIDS\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAh, children. They are obnoxious little question machines. And they won't shut up until you've given them a response. Dumb jerks.\u003cbr\u003eThis book addresses all the cold, hard answers to all those stupid, stupid questions like:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes your poop smell bad? That means you're dying.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow do little rocks turn into big ones? They eat people.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you know you can breathe underwater? It's true. Your body doesn't like it at first, but you totally can.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you know that holding babies makes you run faster? Try it and see!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWouldn't it be cool if you could go back in time and fight dinosaurs for control of the moon? No it wouldn't be. You'd totally die.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo sit down and layer on the emotional scarring with this read-aloud picture book you WISH you could share with children. \u003cbr\u003eA hilarious read that is NOT SAFE FOR KIDS.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Eraserhead Press","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47046359384304,"sku":"9781621052197","price":10.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781621052197_p0.jpg?v=1763863484","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781621052197","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}