{"product_id":"9781632130877","title":"Between 2 Gods: A Memoir of Abuse in the Mennonite Community","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe mountains rise, tall and majestic, stretching into the skies and gracing the heavens-that place where God dwells. I pause from my play, a young preschooler, to take in the breathtaking view, and wonder if I would be closer to God if I were at the top of that mountain. I feel Him in the breezes, see His angels in the raindrops as they dance in the puddles. At least that is how I imagine it. My heart is captivated and I want to know Him, this God who paints the beautiful sunrise and draws the curtains of sunset...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI hear murmurings that my father has threatened to kill us-his family. He flies into a rage, cursing disobedience, declaring damnation on the offender... He offers religion without relationship, and it seems that the church affirms this teaching....\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese two Gods-the one revealed in nature, who makes beautiful things and whispers in the breeze, and the angry god who threatens, yells and abuses-collide, head on, in my mind, soul and spirit. I am confused and troubled. I pray to God. I ignore Him. I reach for Him. I shut Him out. I cry in desperation. I scream against Him, inwardly. I long to be held and loved by Him. I cringe. I fear. I flee.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd always my heart wonders: \u003ci\u003eWhich God is real? Which one is safe? Which one will ultimately save me? Which one will condemn?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy soul is tormented in the night, as the shadows dance on the walls of my room. I am seven. I am lost. I lie awake, afraid, wondering.... I am thirteen... the shadows still strike fear... the creaking stairs terrorize my mind... nightmares torment my sleep... I have tried the God of wrath, and He has left me condemned and lonely. I am abused, neglected and alone. I shut down... become numb and feel nothing. I am determined that I will not suffer forever...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e...the God of my childhood is lost in the pain and trauma of abuse and I am left to struggle.... caught in a tug of war \u003ci\u003eBetween 2 Gods\u003c\/i\u003e...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"eLectio Publishing","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47032230084848,"sku":"9781632130877","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0737\/7593\/9824\/files\/9781632130877_p0.jpg?v=1772805699","url":"https:\/\/shop-qa.barnesandnoble.com\/products\/9781632130877","provider":"Barnes \u0026 Noble (DEV)","version":"1.0","type":"link"}