If Winter Don't: A.B.C.D.E.F. Notsomuchinson

According to Wikipedia: "Barry Eric Odell Pain (September 28, 1864 - May 5, 1928) was an English journalist, poet and writer . . . Pain's works include In a Canadian Canoe (1891), papers reprinted from The Granta; Playthings and Parodies (1892); The Kindness of the Celestial (1894); The Octave of Claudius (1897); Eliza (1900); Another English Woman's Love Letters (1901); The Shadow of the Unseen (1907); An Exchange of Souls (1911); and others."