Crash Dummies

When a fiery romance at a Methodist picnic in Minneapolis goes up in smoke, a benumbed Marty Kayo drifts to Longboat Key, Florida where he stops a bar fight—abruptly. A grateful Marine Lt. Colonel West hires Marty to deliver $4 million to the Contras in Honduras. Convinced his “ship has come in,” Marty takes the job—and the cash.
But rogue FBI and CIA agents know West’s plans and dispatch a pair of Mafia thugs to kill Marty for a share of the loot. A tangled burlesque of shifting alliances, lust, confusion, betrayal and cross-purposes erupts, in which only the assassins know Marty’s identity!
Meanwhile, back in Minneapolis, a physicist and his cat unlock a secret that Maya shaman have guarded for centuries. One name will conjure the past: Tzytzyan Ysalane! Illusions will evolve and unravel as characters and worlds collide in a climax of enraged deities, lost lovers and spellbound thugs.

Marty Kayo has a hunch about the universe and his destiny in it.
His hunch may be right. But his new job as elite courier has dropped him in a mine-field of betrayal in Honduras. Somebody’s painted a target on his back. Everybody wants something this courier’s got. Yet nobody can identify Marty…except the contract killers sent to murder him. Marty’s fate will be linked to a pair of hazy heroes whose spy craft resembles dual personality disorder, a crackpot physicist with a curiously missing cat, a lost codex with instructions for time travel, and a vengeful Mayan sorceress with some serious baggage.
Though no one suspects...the past is about to catch up with everyone.

Edgy and entertaining, Crash Dummies defies categorization: its audacious plot and crystal prose parody formulas of spy thriller, romance and sci-fi fantasy, skewering social classes, the Cold War, alternate universes, Mayan esoteric knowledge and American hubris. Funny, provocative, sordid and steamy, Crash Dummies is a wild ride through a Twilight Zone of Americana, replete with jilted agents and jaded heroines, murky heroes and supercilious mobsters; a postmodern parable of a nation tilting at windmills; a garish tableau of clashing cultures and crashing civilizations, madness and time travel—crowned by a gloss on the Maya that is worthy of Orson Welles.