Screw, God and the Universe

Poor old Albumen Strunk. Not only does he have a nasty case of dental malpractice hanging over his head, he’s also just been killed in a terrible car accident. And what’s worse is that he then somehow finds his supposedly dead self chucked out of the local pub and sent marching across the muddy moors towards a meeting with the Devil himself… who is now, in a misguided attempt to relieve the boredom of eternity, parading about under the name Turpitude Screw.

Albumen soon finds himself deposited rudely in an elevator that goes all the way up to Heaven, where he instantly falls in love with the beautiful guardian of all that is divine, Lividity Bloom. Love and heaven do not mix well and the lovers are forced to take flight. Not too much later, Albumen and Lividity accidentally wipe out humanity.

Soon they are spinning wildly through a heady mix of drinking contests, grumpy celestial beings, strange old men, dwarves, amnesia and a race against time to correct their dreadful mistake and save creation itself… and all from a bench by the river in Durham.

Will the universe live to tell the tale? Not bloody likely!