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BLADYS OF STEWPONEY
BLADYS OF STEWPONEY
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Scanned, proofed and corrected from the original hardcover edition for your reading pleasure. (Worth every penny!)
***
An excerpt from the beginning of:
Chapter 1. - OYEZ!
In a faded and patched blue coat, turned up with red, the bellman of Kinver appeared in the one long street of that small place--if we call it a town we flatter it, if we speak of it as a village we insult it--and began to ring outside the New Inn.
A crowd rapidly assembled and before the crier had unfolded the paper from which he proposed reading, an ape of a boy threw himself before him, swinging a turnip by the stalk, assumed an air of pomposity and ingenious caricature of the bellman, and shouted:
"O yes! O yes! O yes! Ladies and gents all, I gives notice that you, none of you, ain't to believe a word Gaffer Edmed says. O no! O no! O no!"
"Get along, you dratted jackanapes!" exclaimed the crier testily, and, striking the youth in the small of his back with the bell handle, sent him sprawling. Then, striding forward, he took position with a foot on each side of the prostrate urchin, rang again, and called:
"O yes! O yes! O yes! This is to give notice that this 'ere evening, at six o'clock, at Stewponey, there will be a grand champion match at bowls on the green. The prize to be Bladys Rea, commonly called Stewponey Bla. Admittance one shilling. 'Arf-a-crown inner ring, and ticket admits to the 'oly function, by kind permission of the proprietor, in the Chapel of Stourton Castle. At six o'clock per-cise. No 'arf-price. Children and dogs not admitted."
From the door of the New Inn issued Thomas Hoole, the landlord, in his shirt sleeves.
Thomas Hoole was a bit of a wag and a crumb of a poet. On the board outside his tavern he had inscribed the following verses of his own composition:--
"Customers came, and I did trust 'em.
So I lost money, and also custom.
To lose them both did vex me sore.
So I resolved to trust no more.
Chalk may be used to any amount.
But chalk won't pay the malt account.
I'm determined to keep a first-rate tap
For ready money, but no strap.
Good-will to all is here intended
Thus, hoping none will be offended.
I remain, yours respectfully
One who's no fool.
i.e. Thomas Hoole."
"What's the meaning of this, Crier Edmed?" asked the landlord.
***
An excerpt from the beginning of:
Chapter 1. - OYEZ!
In a faded and patched blue coat, turned up with red, the bellman of Kinver appeared in the one long street of that small place--if we call it a town we flatter it, if we speak of it as a village we insult it--and began to ring outside the New Inn.
A crowd rapidly assembled and before the crier had unfolded the paper from which he proposed reading, an ape of a boy threw himself before him, swinging a turnip by the stalk, assumed an air of pomposity and ingenious caricature of the bellman, and shouted:
"O yes! O yes! O yes! Ladies and gents all, I gives notice that you, none of you, ain't to believe a word Gaffer Edmed says. O no! O no! O no!"
"Get along, you dratted jackanapes!" exclaimed the crier testily, and, striking the youth in the small of his back with the bell handle, sent him sprawling. Then, striding forward, he took position with a foot on each side of the prostrate urchin, rang again, and called:
"O yes! O yes! O yes! This is to give notice that this 'ere evening, at six o'clock, at Stewponey, there will be a grand champion match at bowls on the green. The prize to be Bladys Rea, commonly called Stewponey Bla. Admittance one shilling. 'Arf-a-crown inner ring, and ticket admits to the 'oly function, by kind permission of the proprietor, in the Chapel of Stourton Castle. At six o'clock per-cise. No 'arf-price. Children and dogs not admitted."
From the door of the New Inn issued Thomas Hoole, the landlord, in his shirt sleeves.
Thomas Hoole was a bit of a wag and a crumb of a poet. On the board outside his tavern he had inscribed the following verses of his own composition:--
"Customers came, and I did trust 'em.
So I lost money, and also custom.
To lose them both did vex me sore.
So I resolved to trust no more.
Chalk may be used to any amount.
But chalk won't pay the malt account.
I'm determined to keep a first-rate tap
For ready money, but no strap.
Good-will to all is here intended
Thus, hoping none will be offended.
I remain, yours respectfully
One who's no fool.
i.e. Thomas Hoole."
"What's the meaning of this, Crier Edmed?" asked the landlord.
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