Baxter's Thoughts

Baxter's Thoughts is a collection of letters where consumer relations departments are accosted with insane requests and worthless compliments by a man named Baxter.

"I love Twinkies...I have been clocked to eat a Twinkie in 1.24 seconds. I inhaled it and then choked."

"My dog has a Pepsi problem. He loves to drink Pepsi, but after drinking his Pepsi, he begins to slam himself against the wall."

"I have been eating Gerber baby food since I was a baby."

"Your dog food has made me afraid of my dog, but I am writing to tell you how much my dog enjoys your food."