DELICIOUSLY OFF BEAT MEEDIA MISSTEAKS MISHAPS & MESSIUPS

DELICIOUSLY OFF BEAT MEEDIA MISSTEAKS, MISHAPS & MESSIUPSis a choice unexpurgated collection of hilarious sometimes off-color media goofs.
Everybody goofs at one time or another!
But not everybody's mistakes are as conspicuous as those made by people in the media. What a person says sometimes comes out in print with an altogether different connotation than what was originally intended.
UNDERSTANDING MATH
It appears there may be a serious problem understanding mathematics in South Carolina. According to the GREENVILLE NEWS: "A few years ago, half the people lived on farms, but today only 50 percent do."
SENSATIONAL SCIENTIFIC FINDING!
None of the above should really make any difference since the Boston Globe reported: "Science is convinced there is no intelligent life in our solar system."
WOULD YOU CALL THIS GUY?
This one speaks for itself! "Let the men who know roofing goof [roof] your house," screamed the classified advertisement in the Albuquerque , New Mexico Mid-City News.
MARVELOUS WEATHER REPORT!
The Associated Press ran an informative story on the predictions of United States Government weather forecasters. Coming conditions were: "In a fairly narrow strip tending from the Southwest through Kansas, Nebraska, and the Dakotas, the map showed there is a 50-50 chance that fall temperatures will average above or below normal."
INGENIOUS CENSUS TAKING
Another international wire service, United Press International, comes on the scene with this strange news blurb from Waco, Texas. It is in regard to census taking: "Almost 11,000,000 persons live in Texas, an increase of about 11,420,000 since August of 1940.
NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!
Here's a headline from the Idaho State Journal which explains how important an ordinary mattress can be in society: POCATELLO MATTRESS FACTORY PLAYS IMPORTANT ROLE IN CITY'S GROWTH.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out!
WHAT A WONDERFUL BED!
And here's a delightful "For Sale" classified found in one small weekly in the Joplin, Missouri Guardian: "Four-Poster bed, 101 years old with springs. Perfect for antique lover! Please call."
But who really wants an "antique lover"?
Will this old bed also be sufficient for younger lovers as well?
WHO NEEDS THIS!
The Chicago Tribune ran this ad: "SYPHILIS ERADICATION PROGRAM. We need people who want immediate job involvement, unique and difficult assignments. This is not a desk job."
They've got to be joking!
WONDERFUL BENEFITS
Great work if you can get it.
Here’s how the classified advertisement appeared in the local Sherman Democrat in one Texas community.: "Help wanted -- manager for mini-warehouse, love [live] on premises, plus salary and bonus."
Hopeful guys were said to have lined up for blocks in order to have a shot at getting this job!
A UNIQUE POSITION
This New Jersey family was in dire need of a special kind of babysitter.
Here's their classified as it appeared innthe Cape May County Herald:"Help Wanted. Middle-aged woman who enjoys boys by the hour; mostly at night."
A MOST UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY
Only a fellow with the necessary sexual orientation need apply for this particular job. The unique classified advertisement in a New York's Buffalo Evening News read: "Man experienced for fairy [dairy] farm. Call evenings only between 8 and 9"
WILL DO WHAT?
This advertisement must have been placed in the Examiner Enterprise by a thoroughly frustrated Barthesville, Oklahoma, employer: "Part-full time. I need three girls who will to replace three girls who won't. Call Mr. Vermil, Room C."
This certainly sounds like a fellow who won't take no for an answer!
WONDERFUL NEWS
Leave it to those know-it-all government bureaucrats.
Here's one of their ridiculous announcements found in an Arizona's Maryvale Star: "Due to the Federal Civil Rights Law, which states that persons may not be considered for employment because of sex, the difference between men and women is hereby abolished."
LIKE TO DANCE?
This classified ad appeared under “Help Wanted”in the Dallas Times: "Dancers Needed. Exotic, topless or go-go. Apply at Wild Hare and Tamlo Clubs. Dallas Independent School District. School Positions. Secretaries, Clerks, Teachers Aides."
These teachers can't help but be the most popular in the Lone Star state!
This is what DELICIOUSLY OFF BEAT MEEDIA MISSTEAKS, MISHAPS & MESSIUPS is all about. It's a marvelous assortment of offbeat mishaps and colorful messups which were inadvertently made by the printed media. They're all either typographical errors, peculiar sentence construction,