A FLAT IRON FOR A FARTHING

CONTENTS


CHAP.

I. MOTHERLESS

II. "THE LOOK"--RUBENS--MRS. BUNDLE AGAIN

III. THE DARK LADY--TROUBLE IMPENDING--BEAUTIFUL, GOLDEN MAMMA

IV. AUNT MARIA--THE ENEMY ROUTED--LONDON TOWN

V. MY COUSINS--MISS BLOMFIELD--THE BOY IN BLACK

VI. THE LITTLE BARONET--DOLLS--CINDER PARCELS--THE OLD GENTLEMAN NEXT
DOOR--THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS

VII. POLLY AND I RESOLVE TO BE "VERY RELIGIOUS"--DR. PEPJOHN--THE
ALMS-BOX--THE BLIND BEGGAR

VIII. VISITING THE SICK

IX. "PEACE BE TO THIS HOUSE"

X. CONVALESCENCE--MATRIMONIAL INTENTIONS--THE JOURNEY TO OAKFORD--OUR
WELCOME

XI. THE TINSMITH'S--THE BEAVER BONNETS--A FLAT IRON FOR A FARTHING--I
FAIL TO SECURE A SISTER--RUBENS AND THE DOLL

XII. THE LITTLE LADIES AGAIN--THE MEADS--THE DROWNED DOLL

XIII. POLLY--THE PEW AND THE PULPIT--THE FATE OF THE FLAT IRON

XIV. RUBENS AND I "DROP IN" AT THE RECTORY--GARDENS AND GARDENERS--MY
FATHER COMES FOR ME

XV. NURSE BUNDLE IS MAGNANIMOUS--MR. GRAY--AN EXPLANATION WITH MY
FATHER

XVI. THE REAL MR. GRAY--NURSE BUNDLE REGARDS HIM WITH DISFAVOUR

XVII. I FAIL TO TEACH LATIN TO MRS. BUNDLE--THE RECTOR TEACHES ME

XVIII. THE ASTHMATIC OLD GENTLEMAN AND HIS RIDDLES--I PLAY TRUANT
AGAIN--IN THE BIG GARDEN

XIX. THE TUTOR--THE PARISH--A NEW CONTRIBUTOR TO THE ALMS-BOX

XX. THE TUTOR'S PROPOSAL--A TEACHERS' MEETING

XXI. OAKFORD ONCE MORE--THE SATIN CHAIRS--THE HOUSEKEEPER--THE LITTLE
LADIES AGAIN--FAMILY MONUMENTS

XXII. NURSE BUNDLE FINDS A VOCATION--RAGGED ROBIN'S WIFE--MRS.
BUNDLE'S IDEAS ON HUSBANDS AND PUBLIC-HOUSES

XXIII. I GO TO ETON--MY MASTER--I SERVE HIM WELL

XXIV. COLLECTIONS--LEO'S LETTER--NURSE BUNDLE AND SIR LIONEL

XXV. THE DEATH OF RUBENS--POLLY'S NEWS--LAST TIMES

XXVI. I HEAR FROM MR. JONATHAN ANDREWES--YORKSHIRE--ALATHEA _alias_
BETTY--WE BURY OUR DEAD OUT OF OUR SIGHT--VOICES OF THE NORTH

XXVII. THE NEW RECTOR--AUNT MARIA TRIES TO FIND HIM A WIFE--MY FATHER
HAS A SIMILAR CARE FOR ME

XXVIII. I BELIEVE MYSELF TO BE BROKEN-HEARTED--MARIA IN LOVE--I MAKE
AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE, WHICH IS NEITHER ACCEPTED NOR REFUSED

XXIX. THE FUTURE LADY DAMER--POLLY HAS A SECRET--UNDER THE
MULBERRY-TREE

XXX. I MEET THE HEIRESS--I FIND MYSELF MISTAKEN ON MANY POINTS--A NEW
KNOT IN THE FAMILY COMPLICATIONS

XXXI. MY LADY FRANCES--THE FUTURE LADY DAMER--WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
AT LAST

XXXII. WE COME HOME--MRS. BUNDLE QUITS SERVICE

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LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS


MRS. BUNDLE _Frontispiece_

THE LANK LAWYER WAGGED MY HAND OF A MORNING, AND SAID, "AND HOW IS
MISS ELIZA'S LITTLE BEAU?"

"BLESS ME, THERE'S THAT DOG!"

"MR. BUCKLE, I BELIEVE?"

SHE ROLLED ABRUPTLY OVER ON HER SEAT AND SCRAMBLED OFF BACKWARDS

POLLY AND REGIE IN THE "PULPIT" AND THE "PEW"

"ALL TOGETHER, IF YOU PLEASE!"

IT WAS ONLY A QUIET DINNER PARTY, AND MISS CHISLETT HAD BROUGHT OUT
HER NEEDLEWORK

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A FLAT IRON FOR A FARTHING

CHAPTER I

MOTHERLESS


When the children clamour for a story, my wife says to me, "Tell them
how you bought a flat iron for a farthing." Which I very gladly do;
for three reasons. In the first place, it is about myself, and so I
take an interest in it. Secondly, it is about some one very dear to
me, as will appear hereafter. Thirdly, it is the only original story
in my somewhat limited collection, and I am naturally rather proud of
the favour with which it is invariably received. I think it was the
foolish fancy of my dear wife and children combined that this most
veracious history should be committed to paper. It was either
because--being so unused to authorship--I had no notion of
composition, and was troubled by a tyro tendency to stray from my
subject; or because the part played by the flat iron, though
important, was small; or because I and my affairs were most chiefly
interesting to myself as writer, and my family as readers; or from a
combination of all these reasons together, that my tale outgrew its
first title and we had to add a second, and call it "Some Passages in
the Life of an only Son."