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THE BEST AMERICAN HUMOROUS SHORT STORIES
THE BEST AMERICAN HUMOROUS SHORT STORIES
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CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
_Alexander Jessup_
THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN AND HIS WATER LOTS (1839)
_George Pope Morris_
THE ANGEL OF THE ODD (1844)
_Edgar Allan Poe_
THE SCHOOLMASTER'S PROGRESS (1844)
_Caroline M.S. Kirkland_
THE WATKINSON EVENING (1846)
_Eliza Leslie_
TITBOTTOM'S SPECTACLES (1854)
_George William Curtis_
MY DOUBLE; AND HOW HE UNDID ME (1859)
_Edward Everett Hale_
A VISIT TO THE ASYLUM FOR AGED AND DECAYED PUNSTERS (1861)
_Oliver Wendell Holmes_
THE CELEBRATED JUMPING FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTY (1865)
_Mark Twain_
ELDER BROWN'S BACKSLIDE (1885)
_Harry Stillwell Edwards_
THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE OF MR. PINK FLUKER (1886)
_Richard Malcolm Johnston_
THE NICE PEOPLE (1890)
_Henry Cuyler Bunner_
THE BULLER-PODINGTON COMPACT (1897)
_Frank Richard Stockton_
COLONEL STARBOTTLE FOR THE PLAINTIFF (1901)
_Bret Harte_
THE DUPLICITY OF HARGRAVES (1902)
_O. Henry_
BARGAIN DAY AT TUTT HOUSE (1905)
_George Randolph Chester_
A CALL (1906)
_Grace MacGowan Cooke_
HOW THE WIDOW WON THE DEACON (1911)
_William James Lampton_
GIDEON (1914)
_Wells Hastings_
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
_The Nice People_, by Henry Cuyler Bunner, is republished from his
volume, _Short Sixes_, by permission of its publishers, Charles
Scribner's Sons. _The Buller-Podington Compact_, by Frank Richard
Stockton, is from his volume, _Afield and Afloat_, and is republished
by permission of Charles Scribner's Sons. _Colonel Starbottle for the
Plaintiff_, by Bret Harte, is from the collection of his stories
entitled _Openings in the Old Trail_, and is republished by permission
of the Houghton Mifflin Company, the authorized publishers of Bret
Harte's complete works. _The Duplicity of Hargraves_, by O. Henry, is
from his volume, _Sixes and Sevens_, and is republished by permission
of its publishers, Doubleday, Page & Co. These stories are fully
protected by copyright, and should not be republished except by
permission of the publishers mentioned. Thanks are due Mrs. Grace
MacGowan Cooke for permission to use her story, _A Call_, republished
here from _Harper's Magazine_; Wells Hastings, for permission to
reprint his story, _Gideon_, from _The Century Magazine_; and George
Randolph Chester, for permission to include _Bargain Day at Tutt
House_, from _McClure's Magazine_. I would also thank the heirs of the
late lamented Colonel William J. Lampton for permission to use his
story, _How the Widow Won the Deacon_, from _Harper's Bazaar_. These
stories are all copyrighted, and cannot be republished except by
authorization of their authors or heirs. The editor regrets that their
publishers have seen fit to refuse him permission to include George W.
Cable's story, "_Posson Jone'_," and Irvin S. Cobb's story, _The Smart
Aleck_. He also regrets he was unable to obtain a copy of Joseph C.
Duport's story, _The Wedding at Timber Hollow_, in time for inclusion,
to which its merits--as he remembers them--certainly entitle it. Mr.
Duport, in addition to his literary activities, has started an
interesting "back to Nature" experiment at Westfield, Massachusetts.
[Footnote 1: This I have attempted in _Representative American Short
Stories_ (Allyn & Bacon: Boston, 1922).]
[Footnote 2: Will D. Howe, in _The Cambridge History of American
Literature_, Vol. II, pp. 158-159 (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1918).]
[Footnote 3: _A History of American Literature Since 1870_, p. 317
(The Century Co.: 1915).]
[Footnote 4: _A History of American Literature Since 1870_, pp 79-81.]
[Footnote 5: "The Works of Bret Harte," twenty volumes. The Houghton
Mifflin Company, Boston.]
[Footnote 6: _The Cambridge History of American Literature_, Vol. II,
p. 386.]
[Footnote 7: See this Introduction.]
[Footnote 8: _The Cambridge History of American Literature_, Vol. II,
p. 385.]
[Footnote 9: Fred Lewis Pattee, in The Cambridge History of American
Literature, Vol. II, p. 394.]
* * * * *
To: CHARLES GOODRICH WHITING, Critic, Poet, Friend
* * * * *
THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN AND HIS WATER LOTS
BY GEORGE POPE MORRIS (1802-1864)
[From _The Little Frenchman and His Water Lots, with Other Sketches of
the Times_ (1839), by George Pope Morris.]
Look into those they call unfortunate,
And, closer view'd, you'll find they are unwise.--_Young._
Let wealth come in by comely thrift,
And not by any foolish shift:
‘Tis haste
Makes waste:
INTRODUCTION
_Alexander Jessup_
THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN AND HIS WATER LOTS (1839)
_George Pope Morris_
THE ANGEL OF THE ODD (1844)
_Edgar Allan Poe_
THE SCHOOLMASTER'S PROGRESS (1844)
_Caroline M.S. Kirkland_
THE WATKINSON EVENING (1846)
_Eliza Leslie_
TITBOTTOM'S SPECTACLES (1854)
_George William Curtis_
MY DOUBLE; AND HOW HE UNDID ME (1859)
_Edward Everett Hale_
A VISIT TO THE ASYLUM FOR AGED AND DECAYED PUNSTERS (1861)
_Oliver Wendell Holmes_
THE CELEBRATED JUMPING FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTY (1865)
_Mark Twain_
ELDER BROWN'S BACKSLIDE (1885)
_Harry Stillwell Edwards_
THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE OF MR. PINK FLUKER (1886)
_Richard Malcolm Johnston_
THE NICE PEOPLE (1890)
_Henry Cuyler Bunner_
THE BULLER-PODINGTON COMPACT (1897)
_Frank Richard Stockton_
COLONEL STARBOTTLE FOR THE PLAINTIFF (1901)
_Bret Harte_
THE DUPLICITY OF HARGRAVES (1902)
_O. Henry_
BARGAIN DAY AT TUTT HOUSE (1905)
_George Randolph Chester_
A CALL (1906)
_Grace MacGowan Cooke_
HOW THE WIDOW WON THE DEACON (1911)
_William James Lampton_
GIDEON (1914)
_Wells Hastings_
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
_The Nice People_, by Henry Cuyler Bunner, is republished from his
volume, _Short Sixes_, by permission of its publishers, Charles
Scribner's Sons. _The Buller-Podington Compact_, by Frank Richard
Stockton, is from his volume, _Afield and Afloat_, and is republished
by permission of Charles Scribner's Sons. _Colonel Starbottle for the
Plaintiff_, by Bret Harte, is from the collection of his stories
entitled _Openings in the Old Trail_, and is republished by permission
of the Houghton Mifflin Company, the authorized publishers of Bret
Harte's complete works. _The Duplicity of Hargraves_, by O. Henry, is
from his volume, _Sixes and Sevens_, and is republished by permission
of its publishers, Doubleday, Page & Co. These stories are fully
protected by copyright, and should not be republished except by
permission of the publishers mentioned. Thanks are due Mrs. Grace
MacGowan Cooke for permission to use her story, _A Call_, republished
here from _Harper's Magazine_; Wells Hastings, for permission to
reprint his story, _Gideon_, from _The Century Magazine_; and George
Randolph Chester, for permission to include _Bargain Day at Tutt
House_, from _McClure's Magazine_. I would also thank the heirs of the
late lamented Colonel William J. Lampton for permission to use his
story, _How the Widow Won the Deacon_, from _Harper's Bazaar_. These
stories are all copyrighted, and cannot be republished except by
authorization of their authors or heirs. The editor regrets that their
publishers have seen fit to refuse him permission to include George W.
Cable's story, "_Posson Jone'_," and Irvin S. Cobb's story, _The Smart
Aleck_. He also regrets he was unable to obtain a copy of Joseph C.
Duport's story, _The Wedding at Timber Hollow_, in time for inclusion,
to which its merits--as he remembers them--certainly entitle it. Mr.
Duport, in addition to his literary activities, has started an
interesting "back to Nature" experiment at Westfield, Massachusetts.
[Footnote 1: This I have attempted in _Representative American Short
Stories_ (Allyn & Bacon: Boston, 1922).]
[Footnote 2: Will D. Howe, in _The Cambridge History of American
Literature_, Vol. II, pp. 158-159 (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1918).]
[Footnote 3: _A History of American Literature Since 1870_, p. 317
(The Century Co.: 1915).]
[Footnote 4: _A History of American Literature Since 1870_, pp 79-81.]
[Footnote 5: "The Works of Bret Harte," twenty volumes. The Houghton
Mifflin Company, Boston.]
[Footnote 6: _The Cambridge History of American Literature_, Vol. II,
p. 386.]
[Footnote 7: See this Introduction.]
[Footnote 8: _The Cambridge History of American Literature_, Vol. II,
p. 385.]
[Footnote 9: Fred Lewis Pattee, in The Cambridge History of American
Literature, Vol. II, p. 394.]
* * * * *
To: CHARLES GOODRICH WHITING, Critic, Poet, Friend
* * * * *
THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN AND HIS WATER LOTS
BY GEORGE POPE MORRIS (1802-1864)
[From _The Little Frenchman and His Water Lots, with Other Sketches of
the Times_ (1839), by George Pope Morris.]
Look into those they call unfortunate,
And, closer view'd, you'll find they are unwise.--_Young._
Let wealth come in by comely thrift,
And not by any foolish shift:
‘Tis haste
Makes waste:
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