How To Build Your Self Esteem

What is self esteem? The expression was first used
by William James in 1890. This American
psychologist and philosopher said that self esteem
is ‘one’s mental perception of (his) qualities, not
physical features’
With the growth in the social sciences and popular
culture from the 1950’s onwards, concepts like
‘self esteem’ have become more widely discussed,
not only within the profession of psychology but
more generally within western society which has
become increasingly focused on the individual.
There are various definitions of self esteem, but
in essence, it is the value we place on ourselves
as individuals and in relation to others. Maurice
Rosenberg in the 1960s said that self esteem can
be self tested. This period of the development of
social sciences saw the development of ‘testing’
and ‘measuring’ methods which enabled more
empirical studies to be carried out. Previously
most of the social scientists were known primarily
for their theoretical work.
The other shift is that whereas previously the goal
was to measure self esteem, it is now the goal to
achieve the right level of self esteem.
If our self esteem is too low, we are seeing
ourselves as less valuable than those around us.
So we are encouraged to improve our self esteem in
order to become more confident, happier, and better
able to lead a full and rewarding life.
If our self esteem is too high, we are probably
suffering from ‘unearned’ esteem, and see ourselves
as better than those around us. This has been
associated with bullying, violence and aggression
to others.
So getting our self esteem level right, is to have
a sense of self worth that is not reliant on
individual events or achievements. It is not about
being better than or superior to others. A healthy
level of self esteem is linked to respect for
ourselves but importantly, having respect for
others. A good and healthy level of self esteem
will enable us to cope with disappointments and
criticisms. It also enables us to attempt new
challenges, to seek out new relationships, and to
work towards our futures with a level of confidence
and belief in our abilities.
Self esteem is not just about being good at one or
two things. For example, a pianist may feel very
confident of their musical ability. They may feel
confident performing in front of an audience.
However they may lack self esteem when it comes to
their ability to maintain a good relationship with
their partner, or in their ability to make
decisions outside of their work in music.
From a scientific point of view, the subject of
self esteem is only part of the understanding of
the human individual, how our mental maps operate,
and how to help people achieve their potential and
avoid suffering and mental illness.
From the point of view of educationalists, the
relationship between self esteem and academic or
educational success is important. This is
particularly the case for understanding where
individual children or young adults are under
achieving or having difficulty in getting on with
their peers. Schools are under increasing pressure
to assess the needs of children in terms of areas
that would previously have been seen as parental
responsibility. Some children have a difficult
life at home, and have to deal with major events
such as divorce, family illness, lack of parental
love and support, and situations like moving home
and leaving behind friends or relations. Many
children have to cope with bereavement, parental
illness, poverty, ignorance and being surrounded by
people with low self esteem. Their chances of
growing to be happy, healthy young adults, with
confidence in themselves and their futures are
therefore reduced.
Another social change that involves an evaluation
of self esteem is the drive towards equality of
woman. Only 60 years ago it was unusual for a
woman to expect to be considered equal to men in
the job market place. Of course there were
exceptions, and famous women doctors, scientists,
entrepreneurs etc. During the second world war
women filled the jobs vacated by men going to
fight, but generally were encouraged to leave when
the men returned. The development of the social
sciences after the Second World War saw a large
increase of women in higher education and
thereafter in employment.
However, there is still a view that women are under
achieving in the world of commerce, senior
management, science and the glass ceiling still
effectively limits the progression of women.
Women are constantly bombarded with aspirational
material. The media...