Reaching Your Goals

Challenge #8 – Fear of Success
Closely related to the fear of failure is the fear of success. It may seem that these two challenges are complete opposites, but they are more similar than you may think! Both of them involve one common belief: that you won’t be able to handle the consequences of the outcome.
A fear of failure raises worries about the consequences of not achieving your goal, while a fear of success raises worries about the consequences of succeeding at your goal. In both cases, you doubt your ability to handle the results.
Using the same weight loss example from above, a fear of success may cause you to worry that your friends and family will treat you differently if you lose weight. Or you may wonder how you’ll ever be able to have a good time at parties if you can’t enjoy your favorite foods – after all, a “skinny” person doesn’t pig out on junk food! You may worry about the expense of buying a new wardrobe to fit your smaller size – or any number of other fears related to the outcome of your goal.
Once again, you are operating under the assumption that you won’t be able to handle such a possibility, or that it would be somehow “bad” if it happened.
The Remedy:
Overcoming this fear is simple if you come up with some coping strategies ahead of time. Start by making a list of your specific fears, along with things you could do to cope with them if they happened.
Fear:
I won’t know how to relate to men when I’m thin and attractive.
Strategy:
I would relate to them exactly as I do now, but I could also work more on building my self-confidence to deal with unwanted advances, etc.
Fear:
I really can’t afford to buy a new wardrobe right now; maybe I should hold off on this goal until spring.
Strategy:
I won’t need smaller sizes for at least a few months. Between now and then I can set aside the money I used to spend on junk food, cut back in other areas, and even check out some consignment or thrift shops – they always have great deals on clothing!
Whatever your specific fears are, addressing them will convince you that you CAN handle the outcome, no matter what it may be. Besides, most often the things you fear don’t even happen! There’s no harm in preparing for the possibilities, but keep reminding yourself that your fears are probably groundless for the most part.
Challenge #9 – Obstacles
It’s happened to the best of us; we’re moving steadily along toward our goals, feeling motivated and determined – when all of a sudden there’s an obstacle in our path and we freeze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car! What do we do? How do we get around this? Yikes!
Unexpected obstacles are responsible for many unrealized goals, simply for one reason: the goal seeker didn’t have a plan in place to deal with it. Preparing for obstacles is one of the most important parts of goal-setting – but few people take the time to do it. When most of us set a goal, we’re optimistic and confident that we can succeed. We don’t like to think about possible obstacles that may threaten our dreams.
However, not planning ahead for obstacles practically guarantees that we won’t know how to handle them when they appear – and appear they usually will!
The Remedy:
The solution to this challenge is clear: prepare for obstacles ahead of time! But how?
One of the best ways is to go over each of the action steps you’ve set to achieve your goal, and think about possible blockages or problems that could come up as you go along. Consider the outcome you desire from each phase of your goal and ask yourself what you will do if a particular phase doesn’t work out like you planned. Are there alternative steps you could take to get back on track?
For example: if your goal is to quit smoking, what possible obstacles could come up after you’ve quit? You might find yourself in a social situation where everyone else is smoking and you’ll feel tempted to light up too. How can you effectively handle such a situation if it comes up? What other possible obstacles could you face, and how would you handle them?
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