How To Be Healed

For two years the writer has suffered -- only God knows what -- as a result possibly of too strenuous efforts for the salvation of the lost. My trouble seemed incurable without an operation and to this I could not feel free to consent.
Though not at all able, I occasionally stole down to the great county hospital to pray with the sick and dying, for my own distress made me feel keenly for others, knowing by experience what some of them were suffering. After bending over scores of beds doing what little I could to help them, I have returned home and thrown myself across the bed nearly fainting from exhaustion. It would not be long however before I ventured out again for I could not bear to see those afflicted ones dying without God. I might as well confess that often I have refrained from taking my friends with me in the auto for fear of an accident as I knew I was too nervous to drive and rather than risk their lives I have taken the car out alone. I finally had to give up the jail and hospital work, so delegated it to others and resigned myself to God's will, whether life or death.
I attended a number of wonderful divine healing services and was the subject of the prayers of a great many good people, still I suffered. I wanted to live to be a blessing to this sad world. There were millions of sick ones in the myriads of hospitals, many of whom were dying after being experimented upon, and who would take to them the news of Christ the Savior and the Healer? Who would pray for and cheer them as they entered the dark, dark Valley of the Shadow of Death?
I thought of the revivals I wanted to hold and the many prodigal sons and daughters I wished to try to persuade to arise and go to their Father. I thought of my family -- the little ones who needed a mother and so prayed for life and health though constantly saying, "Thy will be done."
This prolonged illness caused me to sympathize with the world of sufferers and I know a little of how it feels to lose hope, for, while I was doing my best to help others I could feel the grim monster Death crowding me inch by inch off the earth. Finally I lost heart and felt compelled against my will to yield to his black relentless hand.