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Quattro M
I Could Never Run For President
I Could Never Run For President
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People say they could never run for president or public office because they have too many skeletons in their closets. Well, I have a STORAGE UNIT filled with skeletons and carcasses! Not that it actually matters much in this day and age, with all the corrupt and shady political figures filling our Senate, House of Representatives, and the almighty Oral, sorry President Clinton, Oval Office.
This book is filled with clamorous calamities and outrageous events that are embedded in my heart forever. I’m sure that at the time I was mortified, embarrassed and horrified. But I wouldn’t trade any of these episodes from my upbringing—and adulthood—for all the money in the world. These family experiences, stories and mishaps shaped who I am and always make me smile. These memories, warm feelings and laughter hold my family together with happiness.
There was never a monotonous moment growing up in my large Italian family. Back then, it seems there weren’t so many rules and regulations—not that my family would have abided by any of them anyway— and if any of these events happened today, I’m sure there would have been a few arrests to go around. Life was just so simple and uncomplicated.
Our life revolved around family gatherings, large dinners, playing outside with cousins, and finding enough change around the house to go down the street to buy candy and ice cream. There were no scheduled play dates; we all played together from morning until night, outside! We looked forward to our family get-togethers, including the drama, the boisterous antics and the lively discussions. The only thing the elders could agree on was the food and wine, and there was never a lack of either. One moment they’d be cursing each other. The next second, they’d be hugging, kissing and apologizing. I couldn’t make sense of it back then, and I probably couldn’t make any sense of it today. There was always plenty of food, enough to feed the entire town, and still have leftovers for everyone to take home.
Each chapter tells a true story of a real event. I know some of you are thinking, What is her family going to do once they read these stories? Well, they can’t kill me (I hope). And, luckily for me, they can’t write either, so no chance of a rebuttal. I just need to be careful who I sit next to at holiday meals from now on. These are just a few of the vast stores of incriminating material in my arsenal. And with my family, I need all the ammunition I can get.
As you read this book, you will see that Mama is the nucleus of almost every story. Many people don’t believe me when I tell them about Mama’s hilarious antics … until they meet her in person. She’s a woman no one can forget; she goes through life saying and doing the things she wants to do. She never gets embarrassed, but she’ll embarrass the shit out of you...
This book is filled with clamorous calamities and outrageous events that are embedded in my heart forever. I’m sure that at the time I was mortified, embarrassed and horrified. But I wouldn’t trade any of these episodes from my upbringing—and adulthood—for all the money in the world. These family experiences, stories and mishaps shaped who I am and always make me smile. These memories, warm feelings and laughter hold my family together with happiness.
There was never a monotonous moment growing up in my large Italian family. Back then, it seems there weren’t so many rules and regulations—not that my family would have abided by any of them anyway— and if any of these events happened today, I’m sure there would have been a few arrests to go around. Life was just so simple and uncomplicated.
Our life revolved around family gatherings, large dinners, playing outside with cousins, and finding enough change around the house to go down the street to buy candy and ice cream. There were no scheduled play dates; we all played together from morning until night, outside! We looked forward to our family get-togethers, including the drama, the boisterous antics and the lively discussions. The only thing the elders could agree on was the food and wine, and there was never a lack of either. One moment they’d be cursing each other. The next second, they’d be hugging, kissing and apologizing. I couldn’t make sense of it back then, and I probably couldn’t make any sense of it today. There was always plenty of food, enough to feed the entire town, and still have leftovers for everyone to take home.
Each chapter tells a true story of a real event. I know some of you are thinking, What is her family going to do once they read these stories? Well, they can’t kill me (I hope). And, luckily for me, they can’t write either, so no chance of a rebuttal. I just need to be careful who I sit next to at holiday meals from now on. These are just a few of the vast stores of incriminating material in my arsenal. And with my family, I need all the ammunition I can get.
As you read this book, you will see that Mama is the nucleus of almost every story. Many people don’t believe me when I tell them about Mama’s hilarious antics … until they meet her in person. She’s a woman no one can forget; she goes through life saying and doing the things she wants to do. She never gets embarrassed, but she’ll embarrass the shit out of you...
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