Toaster's handbook; jokes, stories, and quotations

PREFACE

Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is
expected to respond to a toast on some appallingly near-by
occasion. All ideas he may ever have had on the subject melt
away and like a drowning man he clutches furiously at the
nearest solid object. This book is intended for such rescue
purpose, buoyant and trustworthy but, it is to be hoped, not
heavy.

Let the frightened toaster turn first to the key word of his
topic in this dictionary alphabet of selections and perchance he
may find toast, story, definition or verse that may felicitously
introduce his remarks. Then as he proceeds to outline his talk
and to put it into sentences, he may find under one of the many
subject headings a bit which will happily and scintillatingly drive
home the ideas he is unfolding.

While the larger part of the contents is humorous, there are
inserted many quotations of a serious nature which may serve
as appropriate literary ballast.

The jokes and quotes gathered for the toaster have been
placed under the subject headings where it seemed that they
might be most useful, even at the risk of the joke turning on the
compilers. To extend the usefulness of such pseudo-cataloging,
cross references, similar and dissimilar to those of a library card
catalog, have been included.