The Kingdom of Heaven Taken by Prayer

AFTER many rambling about the country, I went and settled at last at Mortlake, in Surrey, where the effectual work of drawing me from the world began to operate on my soul. I had lost my child by sudden death, as is related in the BANK or FAITH. My wife went to nurse a lying-in woman at Barnes, at a little distance from Mortlake; and, during her stay at that place, I was left entirely alone, both at my work and at home.

As I was one day at my labour, I was reflecting on the many sicknesses, soul troubles, extreme poverty, and disappointments, which I had met with in the course of my life. I considered the poor, tried, troubled state I was then in, together with the loss of my child, and my being almost an utter stranger in a strange place; and, upon a proper view of the whole, I murmured and fretted at my hard fate; and thought I might adopt the language of good old Jacob, and say," Few and evil have my days been."

But suddenly it was impressed with power on my mind, that all these evils were brought upon me for my sin: and that I neither knew, feared, loved, nor served, God as I ought to do, and therefore had brought these trials on myself; and that it was a great mercy God did not take me instead of the infant. This impression was attended with an uncommon flow of contrition: insomuch that I was, at times, overwhelmed with a sorrowful spirit; and so dissolved into meekness, that I went weeping and mourning all the day long, until "my soul was as a weaned child."