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Sam Irwin
The Ransom of Red Goat
The Ransom of Red Goat
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"The Ransom of Red Goat" is a 67,000-word satiric crime novel of the culture clash between pre-Katrina New Orleans wise guys, poor rednecks, greedy exotic dancers and uneducated Cajun pirates all bent on hitting a big payday. The story is told Rashomon-style with an Elmore Leonard tone in mind.
Low-level wise guy Sammy Tramontana wants to move up and the best way to do that is to bring in a big score. Sammy thinks of himself as an intellectual because he listens to NPR. He’s a movie buff and he’s ambitious. He has a romantic vision of what an old-line mafia gang should be. Unfortunately, his gang members are all look and no substance. Vinnie is a poser and Mario behaves like a French Quarter slacker.
After hearing an NPR news report about a local research university’s scientific triumph in cloning a goat whose milk will be a cure for lung cancer, Sammy hits on the idea of stealing said goat because it’s insured for $5 million. The goat abduction goes down with comical results, but shades of The Ransom of Red Chief, Sammy’s city slicker gang “don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no goats.”
Blocking Sammy’s payday is a heretofore unknown Estrogen Cosa Nostra bossed by Lil Tweed, a crafty exotic dance club owner. Lil enlists the varied services of her beautiful strippers/farm girls/nurses/muscle/psychologists to make her own play for the valuable nanny. The beautfiul Monique is one such girt. She's plays Vinnie like a yo-yo. Her motto? "So many men; so few that can afford me."
A cash settlement with the research university is quickly arranged through the efforts of Cash Man, a corrupt insurance adjuster.
Who gets the money? Does the goat end up as barbecue? Wait--What? An Estrogen Cosa Nostra? Does Sammy move up? It's not true crime, but it could be.
Read, laugh out loud and find out...
Low-level wise guy Sammy Tramontana wants to move up and the best way to do that is to bring in a big score. Sammy thinks of himself as an intellectual because he listens to NPR. He’s a movie buff and he’s ambitious. He has a romantic vision of what an old-line mafia gang should be. Unfortunately, his gang members are all look and no substance. Vinnie is a poser and Mario behaves like a French Quarter slacker.
After hearing an NPR news report about a local research university’s scientific triumph in cloning a goat whose milk will be a cure for lung cancer, Sammy hits on the idea of stealing said goat because it’s insured for $5 million. The goat abduction goes down with comical results, but shades of The Ransom of Red Chief, Sammy’s city slicker gang “don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no goats.”
Blocking Sammy’s payday is a heretofore unknown Estrogen Cosa Nostra bossed by Lil Tweed, a crafty exotic dance club owner. Lil enlists the varied services of her beautiful strippers/farm girls/nurses/muscle/psychologists to make her own play for the valuable nanny. The beautfiul Monique is one such girt. She's plays Vinnie like a yo-yo. Her motto? "So many men; so few that can afford me."
A cash settlement with the research university is quickly arranged through the efforts of Cash Man, a corrupt insurance adjuster.
Who gets the money? Does the goat end up as barbecue? Wait--What? An Estrogen Cosa Nostra? Does Sammy move up? It's not true crime, but it could be.
Read, laugh out loud and find out...
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