Consumption of the Hampires

Granny Which Witch's original whopper as related to the author by the groom who certainly should know better than any.

Some people are more than they seem. Some are much worse. Some people are exactly as they appear, and they're often the worst sort.

The groomsman is convinced by Lady Who the Enchantress to lead a rabble in arms for the purpose of throwing off the shackles of vampiric tyranny. All goes better than could have been expected until he is appointed to find new royalty to replace them.

If you read Flat Fax and the Book of Doors and wondered whatever happened to the little piggies, read about the Hampires. But don't look in the mirror.