Consult the Occult (with Curse of Impatience)

Andrew, the desire for revenge in his heart, approaches an occult to see if they can exact the punishment he wants. Except, despite his previous impression of what a cult consists of, it is discovered that these ones are less than adequate at the job given to them. A humorous short story at 4,700 words.
BONUS SHORT STORY! 'Curse of Impatience', a humorous fantasy short story at 4,000 words.