Three Heads

Nick lived life with a yearning to spread delight. He sacrificed himself for others to have joy. He was always a hundred percent. He was always full speed ahead. He was always wearing a genuine smile. I hated to have to kill him.

The following narrative is:

1. the story of our friendship
2. a whole bunch of misused em dashes and probably several other grammatical errors
3. a chronicle of our devious adventure
4. a novel full of clichés
5. the reason for Nick's brutal disposal
6. a whole slew of words I got out of a thesaurus–because that’s what beginner writers do
7. a warning

Let us start from the beginning...