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Brentwood Publishers Group
Keep Your Eye On The Prize!-- a Young Person's Guidebook to Adulthood
Keep Your Eye On The Prize!-- a Young Person's Guidebook to Adulthood
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If you are a parent of a young person in the Transition years from high school through college and on, you may think as I did that when you leave them off at college, your job as a parent is done, but I have news for you. It’s not. Your parenting relationship will change, but it remains crucial, as this Transition time in your child’s life is fraught with peril. Here are some statistics:
ALCOHOL:
The number one cause of death for teens and young adults is an alcohol-related auto accident. And underage drinking is by no means rare.
A CDC survey reported that about 75% of students have tried alcohol at some time, and about 25% reported having a recent episode of heavy drinking (more than five drinks over a couple of hours).
RISKY SEXUAL BEHAVIOR
A survey found that about 25% of college students reported inconsistent condom use during the past month, increasing their risks of sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, and HIV.
SUICIDE
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 18-24 year olds, and the 2nd leading cause of death for college students alone.
What are the causes of this? Depression is the # 1 cause, and 25% of teens has depression, the problem increasing in their 20s.
But STRESS also factors into these problems—leaving home, entering an environment of freedom, managing multiple responsibilities, and having to make decisions about new situations they never experienced before—like dorm or frat parties featuring alcohol and casual sex.
This New Freedom causes many of them Intense Stress. In fact, a recent UCLA survey found that at least a third of college freshmen report feeling overwhelmed most of the time, and this number is higher in women.
When my daughter, now 29, was in high school she knew:
the kid who drove drunk and hit an embankment, killing himself and killing 3 other kids; the one girl who survived, today carries the physical and emotional scars of that one night long ago. The driver’s parents, devastated, divorced and moved away.
The college freshman girl who got drunk with her friends at a party, blacked out, and discovered the next morning that she had been sexually assaulted by some stranger but had no memory of the event. She was escorted distraught and sobbing to the ER where she was given the morning after pill, treated for STDs, and followed for months for possible HIV.
Remember Natalie Holloway? Intoxicated, abducted, gone.
Ten years later, my son (now 19) and his friends were entering their Transition years with the Internet and social media adding a new layer of problems to the old.
He knew about:
a friend who had been bullied in Junior High now withdrew entirely into a life of marijuana and a cyber world of virtual friends;
Tyler Clementi, the 18 year old college freshman student who in 2010 jumped off the George Washington bridge after learning that his roommate secretly filmed his romantic encounter and streamed it over the Internet.
And what about the Websites that will teach you how to become Anorexic? This is a vicious disease that can become chronic and has the highest death rate of any mental illness—up to 20%.
And finally, today’s Internet generation seems confused about life. Arthur Levine’s study revealed that 89% of college students profess to want children but describe social lives of casual relationships and sex.
Colleges and universities do an excellent job trying to prevent problems. They orient the kids to the dangers and provide support and resources to help, but you cannot just turn this job over to the colleges to handle for you, because they can only do so much, because students tell me that when they walk into that party, feeling intense pressure not to be a “loser” and wanting to be accepted by peers, all bets are off as to the decisions they will make about alcohol and drugs and sex.
For all of these reasons, I felt an urgent call to action to bring together my personal interest and my professional expertise and experience to provide solutions to help my own children and others going through this tumultuous Transition time. The tools I compiled are in this book written for young people and you parents who want to help equip your children to make it through this period without becoming another statistic—not to be helicopter parents but to be partners-- to have something useful to say when your kids turn to you for support, and to help them learn the essential emotional skills they need to have the wonderful life they deserve!
Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump, summed up the book this way: “Absolutely essential for anyone leaving home for the first time. Avoid this book at your peril. Read it, absorb it, and you'll never be stupid again!"
ALCOHOL:
The number one cause of death for teens and young adults is an alcohol-related auto accident. And underage drinking is by no means rare.
A CDC survey reported that about 75% of students have tried alcohol at some time, and about 25% reported having a recent episode of heavy drinking (more than five drinks over a couple of hours).
RISKY SEXUAL BEHAVIOR
A survey found that about 25% of college students reported inconsistent condom use during the past month, increasing their risks of sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, and HIV.
SUICIDE
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 18-24 year olds, and the 2nd leading cause of death for college students alone.
What are the causes of this? Depression is the # 1 cause, and 25% of teens has depression, the problem increasing in their 20s.
But STRESS also factors into these problems—leaving home, entering an environment of freedom, managing multiple responsibilities, and having to make decisions about new situations they never experienced before—like dorm or frat parties featuring alcohol and casual sex.
This New Freedom causes many of them Intense Stress. In fact, a recent UCLA survey found that at least a third of college freshmen report feeling overwhelmed most of the time, and this number is higher in women.
When my daughter, now 29, was in high school she knew:
the kid who drove drunk and hit an embankment, killing himself and killing 3 other kids; the one girl who survived, today carries the physical and emotional scars of that one night long ago. The driver’s parents, devastated, divorced and moved away.
The college freshman girl who got drunk with her friends at a party, blacked out, and discovered the next morning that she had been sexually assaulted by some stranger but had no memory of the event. She was escorted distraught and sobbing to the ER where she was given the morning after pill, treated for STDs, and followed for months for possible HIV.
Remember Natalie Holloway? Intoxicated, abducted, gone.
Ten years later, my son (now 19) and his friends were entering their Transition years with the Internet and social media adding a new layer of problems to the old.
He knew about:
a friend who had been bullied in Junior High now withdrew entirely into a life of marijuana and a cyber world of virtual friends;
Tyler Clementi, the 18 year old college freshman student who in 2010 jumped off the George Washington bridge after learning that his roommate secretly filmed his romantic encounter and streamed it over the Internet.
And what about the Websites that will teach you how to become Anorexic? This is a vicious disease that can become chronic and has the highest death rate of any mental illness—up to 20%.
And finally, today’s Internet generation seems confused about life. Arthur Levine’s study revealed that 89% of college students profess to want children but describe social lives of casual relationships and sex.
Colleges and universities do an excellent job trying to prevent problems. They orient the kids to the dangers and provide support and resources to help, but you cannot just turn this job over to the colleges to handle for you, because they can only do so much, because students tell me that when they walk into that party, feeling intense pressure not to be a “loser” and wanting to be accepted by peers, all bets are off as to the decisions they will make about alcohol and drugs and sex.
For all of these reasons, I felt an urgent call to action to bring together my personal interest and my professional expertise and experience to provide solutions to help my own children and others going through this tumultuous Transition time. The tools I compiled are in this book written for young people and you parents who want to help equip your children to make it through this period without becoming another statistic—not to be helicopter parents but to be partners-- to have something useful to say when your kids turn to you for support, and to help them learn the essential emotional skills they need to have the wonderful life they deserve!
Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump, summed up the book this way: “Absolutely essential for anyone leaving home for the first time. Avoid this book at your peril. Read it, absorb it, and you'll never be stupid again!"
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